Conforming – 900 Words

Are You Toeing The Line? Why Ditching the Line Gets You What You Want

Have your own dreams and do what makes you happy. This is essential to living an exciting, full and inspiring life. In this article you’ll learn why we toe the line, and how to break with tradition by putting yourself first to get what you want. By doing this you enhance the love in your life and inspire others to do the same.

“My mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general,

if you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.’

Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.”

Pablo Picasso

 Key Points

  • Are you trapped into constantly having to please other people?
  • Two main reasons you get recognition – one ‘safe’, one ‘risky’.
  • How to discover your dreams and clear the way to achieve them.
  • How to get all the love you want.
  • How to be an inspiration to others.

What if You Toe the Line, but Don’t Know It?

Most of us have been raised to

  • put our own dreams aside for others
  • survive by going through the motions and following society’s rules – rules which serve other people, not us

… and thereafter fade into invisibility.

You Usually Only Reappear for Two Reasons (a fabulous third reason is discussed later)

1.     If you accomplish something considered honorable by your society – perhaps by doing well at school or sport, becoming a doctor, a lawyer, marrying a person considered successful etc. If you live according to ‘the rules’, you are considered a ‘success’. You are applauded so as to emphasize the behavior others should aspire to.

2.     If however, you object or follow your own dream or ‘drumbeat’, a path that perhaps is at odds with your society or culture, you are seen as rebellious. But you’re ‘noticed’. This may be as simple as choosing an alternative career, dating someone outside the circle, moving town or voicing a different opinion. For this, you may be ostracized by your friends, family or colleagues – which is their attempt (also unconscious) to get you to fall back in line. You are given the silent treatment or cast out. If you bow to the pressure, and resume toeing the line, you are praised, re-embraced and swiftly returned to invisibility (a boring place where you are trapped, controlled and suppressed, yet it’s a place people feel most safe and secure). You breathe a sigh of relief at the narrow escape.

Most people will unconsciously avoid # 2 because being ostracized is too painful – we equate acceptance and approval with being loved. However you are only safe, secure and happy when you are free to please yourself.

Many people toe the line absolutely, fearing the ramifications of even a small deviation.

Want to break free from this deception and get what you want? Read on!

How to Get Past Phony Love and Approval

Love and approval received by toeing the line is conditional on your behavior, and it is phony love.

You are entitled to get what you want as well as be truly loved all the time (yes!), and to get both is really easy. It is simply this: by bravely permitting yourself to do what you choose, you supply yourself with endless genuine love.

When you do what you love, you automatically feel loved; you feel confident, happy and look forward to your future. Others never give us love or happiness, we do it for ourselves.

The bonus is that once you empower yourself you attract love and approval from those around you anyway. You are vibrating your own love and approval and so it’s as if you get it from others, but they are merely your reflection. (And that topic will be covered in another article.)

Do You Know What Makes You Happy?

Are you even aware of your own dreams? Perhaps not and this is because society’s ideals – other people’s expectations of you – are so ingrained that you’ve forgotten to have your own dreams.

So, what are your dreams?

They are simply whatever makes you happy and excited, whatever inspires you each day. That is the most ideal and fabulous path for you. Contemplate what makes you happy and start taking steps to make them happen, even a little bit at a time.

The Third Reason You Reappear

The reason for your third reappearance is to be applauded. This happens once you’ve switched things around in your life. Put your needs first and the needs of others second. Follow your own dreams. Stop being concerned with what others think of you. Unchain yourself – let go of pleasing others and trying to make them happy. You cannot do that for them; they can only do that for themselves… and you can only do that for you. Once you’re happy, you can choose to help others with their dreams.

Do this and you will be noticed – this time because you are free and happy. You’ll be a brilliant light shining forward leading the way for others to live their dreams.

Do you know anyone who would like to get anything they want? Visit www.janetpoole.com for a look at the book ‘Just Like That! ’ How to Get Anything You Want. You are entitled to get what you want and be happy. Find out how and why. The book uses the forgotten truth of ancient wisdom to lift you out of restrictive current beliefs and provide an in-depth step-by-step approach to aligning your thoughts with what you want. It also offers exercises that help integrate the knowledge into your life.

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