Ten or twenty percent is only an incremental gain. For some that’s an impressive performance – depending on the challenge. I prefer the idea of a quantum leap. Why not choose to double your level… More
Think about your car, phone, computer, air travel and the lamp on your bedside table.
How did they originate?
Almost everything we use on a daily basis is the direct result of someone’s thought or idea. Even the clothes you’re wearing.
But what do we mean by someone’s “thought” or “idea”?
It’s often overlooked that these things were created FIRST in someone’s IMAGINATION.
“Imagination is the beginning of creation.
You imagine what you desire,
You will what you imagine and
at last you create what you will.”
~~ George Bernard Shaw
We all have the ability to use our imagination which means we already have in us everything it takes to create anything we want in our life!
Yet most of us don’t use this ability. Before starting school we thoroughly enjoyed using our imagination but then we were punished for daydreaming and told to pay attention.
Obviously many people use their imagination to design homes, art, write novels etc, however few adults use their imagination to DREAM of and CREATE the life they want.
This is Janet Poole and I believe in freedom and living our true potential.
I believe in finding better ways to live a better life.
I have searched the world to find the best ways to grow, get permanent change and achieve your wildest dreams — I have found it in the program Thinking Into Results.
Better Ways. More Freedom.
Contact Janet Poole here
Were you ever told to be satisfied with life?
Happy with life? Absolutely. Satisfied? No.
You see, from the moment you were born you’ve been going after goals. First you wanted to crawl, then stand, then walk, then talk.
As a baby, a very natural part of you always strived for that next level of accomplishment and how great you felt each time you achieved it. How happy those around you were too.
So why do we stop striving to better ourselves?
Is it any wonder life feels so meaningless and empty?
The reason you’re born to be dissatisfied is because you’re born to be a goal achiever, always onward and upward.
Don’t fight it; embrace it.
It’s in your nature to explore and experience life, to stretch, to grow.
The path to exploring, stretching and growing is to go after something you truly want.
“If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being,
you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.”
~~ Abraham Maslow
When we’ve stretching and giving our best, we’re at our happiest.
When we’re suppressing ourselves and living a mediocre life, we’re miserable.
To be “satisfied” with life at any time is to have missed the point completely.
Everyone has ideas, everyone has dreams, but sadly most people never bring them to life.
If you have an exciting idea or dream, wait no longer – make it happen because it’s obviously something you were born to do.
I believe you can do it.
First. Start Learning About the POWER of Your MIND.
If you don’t, you’ll probably quickly give up on your idea at the first bump in the road, something most people do.
Here’s something most people don’t understand.
To achieve something big, you need to grow into and become the person who can do it and you need some level of acceptance or belief that it’s possible.
For that to happen, you need to understand the power of your mind.
Understanding really is the key to FREEDOM.
The more you understand YOU, the more you’ll BELIEVE you can do anything.
Don’t be most people – bring YOUR idea or dream to life.
Is blaming your family, friends or colleagues keeping you stuck?
Relationships are often the cause of heartache, anger and resentment.
Did you know…
… one of the main ways we grow is through relationships?
The QUESTION is:
Are you willing to be happy and free?
Did you know most of us are not willing to give up blame so as to be happy!
Isn’t it weird how feeling bad feels so “good”?
It’s true! Blame and feeling bad can feel good, but it’s only momentary and it keeps us in prison.
Which is a terrible long term plan for happiness, and can lead to serious health issues!
If you are truly ready for long term happiness, read on.
When you’re with someone have you ever…
- Felt angry
- Felt jealous
- Felt rejected or ignored
- Felt hurt
- Felt betrayed
- Found fault with or criticized them
- Seen them as arrogant or selfish
- Seen them as blunt or unfriendly
- Seen them as uncaring or disrespectful
If YES — then again read on!
These are feelings most of have felt.
But they are neither “good” nor “bad”.
But what is important is, if you’ve consciously noticed it (as opposed to unconsciously reacted) then you’ve already taken a huge step forward and can use this as a powerful opportunity to grow.
BUT, how do I grow through relationships?
First off, know that you’re always seeing yourself in the other person.
Yes, they have a message for you.
What do they say to you?
How do they annoy you?
How do they make you feel?
These are secret messages that give insight into you and the issues you’ve suppressed.
I know… it can seem like a puzzle to work this out : )
4 Steps to “Getting the Message” From This Person
1. First you need COURAGE!
Congratulations! Choosing not to blame and instead looking for the message is a courageous act.
2. Make a DECISION that you are open and willing to get the message.
Obvious perhaps, but you need to be in the right frame of mind!
3. Next, find the CLUES the person is giving you.
Remember, you won’t see your entire self in others, you’ll only see slivers or small parts.
Your CLUES are those parts that annoy or hurt you and are your clues to learning more about yourself.
So, let’s discover those clues. Imagine that person now.
Say to yourself something like, “I feel ___(describe the feeling)____”
e.g. “I feel angry”
“I feel small”
“I feel rejected”
“They are arrogant, they are selfish.”
Create a list of anything that comes up for you.
Don’t analyse – just keep writing.
4. CONTEMPLATE that list of clues.
Once you’re lost in thought the answer will come.
Persevere because you will eventually get the answer — even if it takes months.
My personal story in my book is in Chapter 32 – Forgiveness and took me months, but I was determined to get the message. And you can too! The “aha-moment” was worth it and I successfully moved on.
“Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else;
it’s something you do for yourself.”
~~ Jim Beaver, Life’s That Way: A Memoir
3 Things That Will Make You Feel Good When Learning About Yourself:
1. Feel good because you’re not necessarily looking for stuff people might consider “bad” e.g. anger, hate, jealously.
It may be that you felt abandoned or rejected as a child. You may feel unworthy. You may have suppressed anger or it may be a limiting belief from childhood.
Don’t judge it. Let it be “IS”.
You don’t have to know why you feel that way, just acknowledge that you do.
Be open to discovering things like your own anger, arrogance or insistence on controlling others (yes, most of us love control).
2. Feel good because it’s not about moving the blame from others to you.
We’re too hard on ourselves (which is why we blame!). Rather this is merely an opportunity to learn more about you.
Don’t be hard on yourself because even those of us who ought to know better fall into this trap.
3. Feel good because you can choose to see the situation as an opportunity, rather than a problem.
(See Chapter 5 in my book – Challenges Are Powerful Opportunities For You)
Personally, I never want to miss an opportunity to grow because in the end my issue is there whether I deny it or not.
Now a Quick Check…
Is there anyone in your community who you feel did the wrong thing to you?
If so, it’s important to deal with it — now you know how.
3 Rewards When Moving On From Blame:
1. Clarity and peace
The feeling of clarity and peace is euphoric and your new insight means personal growth. Know thyself! One of our yearnings!
2. The person like “magic” seems to change
Oh how you wished the person would change! Well, when you move on from blame they will appear to do so. You will stop feeling anger, they’ll no longer seem arrogant, blunt or hurtful.
You may even form a closer relationship with them! (This often happens!)
3. You no longer rely on people’s behaviour
Whoo hoo! You no longer need others to behave a certain way so that you can be happy. You become happy no matter what. You make yourself happy; you are empowered.
Adversity Always Gets Your Attention
Remember of course you can also see your own love, kindness and generosity reflected in others but it’s always the adversity that gets our attention!
The adversity makes us more inclined to look at ourselves – where most of us use any excuse to avoid looking at ourselves.
When we avoid the opportunity it will always come again in the form of someone else.
This has probably been happening all your life (without you even knowing it… until now)!
Have you ever said, “Why does this always happens to me”?
“When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.”
~~ Deepak Chopra
Let’s face it now and move forward!
When Is It Time to Move On?
Now, for clarity’s sake — please know, it is unnecessary to keep an angry, hurtful person in your life.
Feel free to move on as long as you can genuinely say you’ve been honest with yourself and contemplated what you could learn.
I’m not saying this is easy but it’s worth it because you’ll feel fabulous!
There you have it – 10 Tips to Stop Blaming Others!
Related Reading On This Site:
Your Troubled Relationships – Could This Be The Hidden Cause? (Part 1 of 2)
Family Disputes – Tips to Laugh More, Cry Less (Part 1 of 3)
Related Reading from Other Sites:
This is Janet Poole; I believe in finding better ways to live your life and grow your business.
I believe in sharing those ideas!
Better Ways. More Freedom.
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” ~~ Mark Twain
One of my favourite quotes because I believe in thinking for yourself. In today’s society that’s not easy but what’s the alternative?
You may want to read these 2 articles next to learn more about thinking for yourself:
For now let’s continue with a better way to differentiate your business.
This article is Part 3 of a 3-Part Series on how to differentiate your business. (see links to Part 1 & 2 below)
Next time you’re
- Browsing someone’s website
- Paging through a magazine
- Staring at a billboard
- Listening to an ad on the radio
What is the ONE thing they’re all telling you, which is NOT helping them attract ideal clients?
They’re all telling you WHAT they do.
In other words they are giving you features and benefits.
Mainstream marketing techniques teach us to focus on the features and benefits (i.e. the WHAT) of our products and services.
Everyone now does this (the majority!) which means you have a huge yet little-known opportunity to differentiate your business!
How do you go about doing that, you ask?
Stop telling people WHAT you do and instead differentiate yourself by expressing WHY you do what you do.
This is not about being different for the sake of it. This is a better way of doing business because it’s easy and it works – I’ll explain in a minute the brain biology behind it.
Since becoming a WHY Coach I’ve worked with companies who have struggled to explain to me what they do and it’s only once we’ve delved into WHY they’re in business, that I truly understood WHAT they do. Interesting.
Are you struggling to explain WHAT you do to your potential clients?
Are you struggling to get the right messaging?
If so, contemplate these 2 things:
1. WHY you do what you do and
2. What you BELIEVE.
BUT… you’ll probably discover these 2 things:
1. You’re not exactly sure WHY you do what you do
2. You’re not exactly sure what you BELIEVE.
That’s where we come in because most people need help digging down and finding the truth of their WHY and what they BELIEVE.
We facilitate that with you and then use it to create powerful messaging that speaks to your ideal clients.
The First Step in the WHY Process
We discover which of the 9 WHYs is yours.
This is the most important step.
This step alone will most likely give you a massive a-ha. It will give you clarity about who you are and why you do everything you do. I mean everything.
From that day on your entire life will look different.
We believe that there are 9 WHYs and only 9.
The fact there are 9 WHYs and only 9 are what give this tool its power.
An unlimited number would make it useless as a practical tool.
With only 9 WHYs we can quickly identify your WHY and make it useful for you in both your personal and business life.
You may wonder how can there be only 9 WHYs for 7 Billion people?
It’s HOW you live your WHY that makes you unique (more on that another time).
The 9 WHYs
- To Contribute to a Greater Cause, Make a Difference, Add Value or Have an Impact
- To Create Relationships Based Upon Trust
- To Make Sense Out of Things
- To Find a Better Way and Share It
- To Do Things The Right Way
- To Think Differently & Challenge the Status Quo
- To Seek Mastery
- To Create Clarity
- To Simplify
Each WHY is a wonderful talent and a skill. Whichever WHY is yours you will do it as simply as breathing.
For example, my WHY is #4 “To Find a Better Way and Share It”. I am compelled to look at every situation and process to see if there is a better way! I can’t help but do it. You will realise the same once we know your WHY.
Most people can only guess at which of the 9 WHYs is theirs because we can’t see ourselves for who we truly are. That’s the first a-ha : )
Remember, your WHY is a gift and a talent, so it’s imperative you know it.
The Brain Biology Behind the WHY
Your WHY talks to a part of a person’s brain called the Limbic Brain.
It’s our feeling brain.
We make decisions because something feels right.
The Limbic Brain is the decision-making part of our brain.
If you tell a person WHAT you do (rather than WHY) you are not talking to their Limbic Brain and in fact you are CONFUSING them.
So… how do you access the Limbic Brain?
By expressing your WHY.
Expressing WHY you do what you do is effective for several reasons:
1. You’re being authentic and genuine, and people quickly sense that. You’re talking to their Limbic Brain.
By the way, if a person does not believe what you believe, they are simply not your ideal client! (more on that another time too)
2. You are not being manipulative; most marketing is manipulative even if the intentions are good.
3. Remember, customers do business with people based on relationships. Customers must know who you are and what you stand for – your values and beliefs. That creates a feeling of belonging which feels good.
Let me give you an example. Although you’d rarely talk to a stranger on a train in your home town, you’d more likely to strike up a conversation with someone if you were overseas and they shared your accent. You’ll both instantly feel a strong connection and even… a natural inclination to trust each other! It’s true isn’t it?
Why that happens is because when you and someone else share common values and beliefs you’re more likely to trust them.
They are “your kind of people.”
You feel a sense of belonging.
Did you know…
… when it comes to you and your business, ideal clients are looking for you?
They are – it’s a fact – people love doing business with those who share their values and beliefs.
Help them find you!!!
It’s up to you to express WHY you do what you so that ideal clients can find and recognise you.
To attract ideal clients you must express your WHY.
Discover your WHY.
Live your WHY!
Contact Janet here to WHY-ify your business (and life!)
Part of this series:
This article is Part 3 of a 3-Part Series on how to differentiate your business. See:
My name is Janet Poole and I believe there are better ways to delight your customers and inspire your staff.
I believe in meaningful conversation, knowing what really matters to you.
I believe an open mind is essential to a better life because there are always different and better ways of doing things.
I believe truth is a better way no matter how outrageous and despite its consequences because it sets you free.
I don’t believe in conforming. I believe in freedom and remembering to use your free will because many of us forget we have it and end up frustrated living below our potential.
I believe in saying yes to opportunities, doing something greater than yourself because it will thrill you; life ought to be an adventure, lived with courage.
I believe in laughing, delicious food and red wine.
I believe in being someone you can count on who will support you all the way into the results you want.
Better Ways. More Freedom.
Knowing your WHY is like turning on the lights to your behaviour. You gain instant clarity. It’s like being introduced to yourself. When you know your WHY, you begin to understand. When you know your WHY, you realise your unique gifts. When you know your WHY, you gain clarity and confidence. When you know your WHY you live with passion.
When you know your WHY you can take your business from good to great in a single day.