How You Can Ditch Obligation and Get What You Want
Love Who You Are, Do What You Love
You are here to experience life on Earth: your life. Your first step is to love yourself. When you love you, then you have what you need to love others. Anything else is an unfulfilled, uphill battle. Become a light to the world and lead the way for others to do the same. You’re not perfect, we know that. No-one is – we are all continuing to evolve. Approve of everything you think, say and do. You are here to fulfill your goals and dreams, to create new adventures, to explore life.
You can’t live someone else’s life for them. You are here to achieve as much happiness as you can and always remember you are entitled to get what you want. The more you love yourself the more you get what you want. Be outrageous and live your life to the full.
- Are you trapped into constantly having to please other people?
- Are you scared to say no?
- Why putting yourself second causes you distress.
- How to know if you are doing obligation.
- How to break with tradition and follow the path that makes you happy.
- How you’ll be supported when you do what makes you happy.
Yes, You Can Say, ‘No’
We robotically follow the unwritten rules of society. Society, religions and culture, over many generations have decided ‘acceptable’ behavior for you. We seldom stop and say, ‘What if I don’t want to do this?’
Yes, you can say, ‘No.’
Obligation is subtle. Sometimes we overlook our unwillingness to comply because it is so deeply buried and masked. Observe how life plays out around you, including your job – is it also an obligation? Study other people… this is happening to most of us. We spend most of our day satisfying other people. If you do this it damages your health and happiness.
Before you help someone, allow yourself to stand back and consider what you’re consenting to. There is usually an alternative.
Why You Do Obligation
Lurking behind obligation is our need for acceptance from others. If our behavior is different or at odds with our culture, we are noticed and are potentially a target for disapproval. We police each other to behave ‘appropriately’. For most of us, the love we receive from others is conditional – directly dependent on how we behave. We all know this subconsciously, so we ‘behave’. We love the fuzziness of approval. We have an innate knowingness that to experience condemnation by our peers would feel like being banished into the wilderness, where it seems our very survival is threatened.
Are Other People’s Dreams More Important than Yours?
If you’re frustrated or bored, you’re probably doing obligation and it means you have chosen to put other people’s lives ahead of your own, but it’s not admirable. Change this or kiss goodbye to your goals and dreams because your focus is currently on helping other people achieve their dreams. Yours are secondary and are simply never going to happen. The truth hurts, but it’s better to hear it.
How to Know If You Are Doing Obligation
When there is no sense of fun and excitement in your activities. Ideally, you should wake up enthusiastic about the day ahead. Question whether you have choice in what you do.
Crabby, Bitter vs Happy, Fulfilled…Which One Do You Want?
Who do you think is a greater asset to you and the world? The crabby, bitter personality who is living a lie or the sunshiny one who loves their life?
Your only obligation should be to yourself! When you are happy and fulfilled, you become fun to be around. When your chalice is full, you are a blessing to others.
Follow Your Dreams and Feel Fabulous
Once you have the courage to break with the traditions of society, to do what makes you happy, you will discover that a new sense of power and confidence washes over you. You are loving you – perhaps for the first time, and people and circumstances magically appear and fall into place.
The People Who Matter Will Love You and Be Inspired
Fitting into other people’s expectations may still be tempting because it is a habit but gradually the need diminishes. The people who matter in your life will accept the new you, and you will become an inspiration for them to change their lives. Other people may drift away and that is to be expected. New people will arrive, people who will take you onward with your journey, to even greater happiness.
Being Human is Beautiful
A beautiful aspect of being human is that we love to help others, and you will always do so – but on your own terms. Ensure there is balance and choice in what you do; make sure you do what you want to do.
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