Do you do what you want to do?
Or do you put everyone else’s needs first?
When you’re faced with a situation where you can choose what you’d like, be sure to exercise that choice.
Choose what you’d truly like, and not what you think other people want you to do.
Many people prefer to fit into other people’s plans, and not get what they truly want.
They feel if they can create happiness for the other person, then they’ll find happiness too.
This becomes an unfulfilling never-ending chase.
This happens in many people’s lives, even people who believe they are the ultimate decision-makers in their lives. We’ve been programmed since birth to do it.
This is Part 1 of a 2-Part Series – Always Say What You Want.
When You Sacrifice Yourself, You Don’t Help Others
While you probably want to create happiness for others and there is joy in that, but it’s not something you alone can do for another person – it is something we must each do for ourselves.
Others must do this for themselves, and you must do it for you.
In the same way, you can’t make someone sad, nor can they make you sad.
To fully understand that is why I wrote my book!
It’s not selfish to do what you want. Sacrificing your life for someone else does no good for either of you.
We are each responsible for how we feel and for choosing a life we enjoy.
And you are worthy of love – something you create by doing what is best for you, by putting yourself first, by doing what you want.
“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you.
Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.”
Alice Walker (Author ‘The Color Purple’ b.1944)
So let’s be clear.
We ought to always do our best to support others and be kind, but we ought not pay a hefty price by giving up our fulfillment and happiness.
Always try to find a way to put yourself first and do what you want to follow your dreams.
We don’t have to steamroll anyone, but rhere will be times when it’s complicated, such as when you have a job, are looking after children, attend school or university etc. Even then you have opportunities, but they aren’t as obvious.
Still, there are many times when it’s obvious you can do what you want, but don’t.
In fact, even after this article, you may still enjoy putting other people’s needs before yours.
Let’s find out the secret.
5 Reasons You’d Put Everyone Else First and Not Get What You Want
- You believe it is what is expected of you – you heard today’s message, ‘You should put yourself first and do what you want to do.’ Yet the habit of satisfying other people is so ingrained, you can’t help it. You also fear being called selfish if you don’t put others first. It is a compulsion. To liberate yourself from this attitude, see more in the next post in the series – 8 Ways You Will Change Your Life When You Ask For What You Want (posted later this week).
- It’s as natural as breathing – similar to the previous point, but this time it’s because it feels so normal you aren’t even aware you’re doing it.
- You want to be liked and to make a good impression. It feels righteous. Subconsciously you expect approval and acceptance if you do what others want. You feel that if you make others happy, they will be kind to you.
- You think you’ll be seen in a positive light – as a co-operator, a team player. A good guy. You’d rather not risk discord and you play along to maintain the harmony. You fit in. You think this brings you happiness. It doesn’t. Deep down you feel like you betrayed yourself. You did.
- You fear annoying anyone, so you go with the flow. Being an inconvenience spells trouble; you’ll be excluded and ignored. Most people fear that deep down.
Eliminate the sacrifices: they’re a waste of time.
Start living for you.
Put yourself in the rightful place in your life – first.
The next post shows you how you get what you want, including great relationships, when you stand tall, take control of your life and go for what you want.
Stop trying to be what you are not.
What do you want to think, say and do?
Be that. Check out the book “How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!”. The book breaks with the traditions of today and reveals the hidden truth of ancient wisdom. It exposes several hidden, entrenched social rules which limit your life and liberates you from these restrictive beliefs. The book provides an in-depth practical approach to aligning your thoughts with what you truly want.
This is Janet Poole; I believe in finding better ways to live your life and grow your business.
I believe in sharing those ideas!
Better Ways. More Freedom.