Tag: Rules of Society

Why it’s a Trap for You to Tow the Line

Published on by Janet

If you want to live a happy life, stop towing the line.

This is part 2 of a 2-part series. Part 1 Do You Think for Yourself? introduced you to the unwritten rules of society and suggested that you probably follow them without realizing it. Towing the line gives you the illusion of a happy life but deep down you feel robbed.

“The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.”

~~ Rita Mae Brown (American Writer b. 1944)

This article is a little different to my others in that while it tells you how to become greater, it also delivers to  you the stark reality of towing the line i.e. the downsides… and it is a downward spiral. By reading it I am hoping you will be motivated to take action, to step forward and courageously push aside those rules. To be free to live the happy life of your choosing.

The Hazards of Towing the Line …The 10 Steps to Hitting Rock Bottom in Your Life

Do you recognize this pattern, this downward spiral? (Some parts may seem tinged with sarcasm – that is not the intention. It is however the truth.)

  1. At first, you’ll feel honorable. Initially, this is what you feel by conforming. It’s your (short-term) reward for doing so.
  2. Then you’ll feel accepted as people appear to warm to you and praise you for being such a good person. Praise is a deep need for most people and it makes you believe you’re an essential part of the group, the tribe.
  3. You’ll feel safe, loved and secure because you think the tribe will protect you. You consider yourself to be doing the ‘right thing’ since you’ve made a good impression. Note: Unbeknownst to you, this is the last time you will feel good. At this point you start on the never-ending downward cycle.
  4. It starts to dawn on you that the love and protection you receive is conditional and to keep it you must keep following the rules – you must keep towing the line. Fact: the love and protection are conditional; you subconsciously know this and that there are consequences if you stray. This is where my book Just Like That! comes in. It explains that while there are certainly consequences if you stop towing the line, they pass quickly if Continue reading “Why it’s a Trap for You to Tow the Line” →
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Do You Think for Yourself? Here’s How to Start

Published on by Janet

Are you free to do what you want?

Or do you do what is expected of you?

You’ll probably find that without even knowing it, you follow ‘the rules’ and conform.

Obviously if you’re paid to do a job, do it.

For this purpose we’re talking about mindlessly following the unwritten rules of society; things you’ve never agreed to and you’re not paid to do.

If you have never contemplated this, then it’s likely you’ve fallen into line whether or not it’s for your benefit. Just by reading this paragraph however, you may have a lightning bolt moment; a sudden awareness about how you’re living your life.

To have confidence and a happy life, you ought to think for yourself.

“Gonna change my way of thinking, make my self a different set of rules.

Gonna put my good foot forward and stop being influenced by fools.”

Bob Dylan (American singer-songwriter and musician b. 1941)

If this Idea Pushes a Button Look Closer

This can be a touchy subject because we all like to think we’re independent thinkers, but we can’t escape the truth.

If you didn’t have a lightning bolt moment, ask yourself if this topic pushes a button for you. Does it make you uncomfortable, even a little?

If an idea pushes a button it means it applies to you in some way whether you hide from it or not.

Towing the line takes us away from what we want in life. But most people are doing it so let’s face it and acknowledge at least that you now know.

Now we can take action to liberate you and deliver to you that happy life instead.

Since I’ve had the luxury of learning I’m ‘free to be me’ and every day actively choose to be that, I’ve felt my heart soar, I’ve had a beautiful sense of liberation, confidence and I wake up even happier, with an even greater can-do attitude.

The Results Are In – You Are Free to Be You

Unfortunately, until we’re reminded that we’re free (to be whoever and whatever we want to be), we continue towing the line, doing what we think impresses others and keep trying to make ourselves more acceptable or more significant in the eyes of others.

We seldom do anything that contradicts what’s expected of us, for fear of losing the love and approval of others.

We robotically follow the rules of society – subconscious rules we’ve been indoctrinated to follow since childhood.

The rules determine what is deemed good behavior, and what isn’t.

We unconsciously know ‘good’ from ‘bad’ and we stick to being ‘good’.

Our daily life involves striving to be a glowing example of what is seen as living an ‘impressive life’.

The consequence? Continue reading “Do You Think for Yourself? Here’s How to Start” →