6 empowering things you ought to know about disputes.
We’ll shift the power from the other person to you and possibly even see the brighter side.
We all know disputes are a touchy subject and the truth is hard to hear.
Be open to hear it and you’ll find more reasons to laugh at life.
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ~~ George Burns (1896 – 1996)
Everything in this article empowers YOU.
Note: This information also applies to disputes outside the family. Most disputes are not life-threatening, but in cases of physical abuse or threats, never take it lightly. Act to stop it. Still use this information to empower yourself and avoid it in the future.
This is part 1 of a 3-part series:
Coming Through Family Disputes Peacefully and More Empowered
6 Empowering Things to Learn About Disputes
1. You Enjoy the Dispute
Like I said, the truth is hard to hear; don’t let that deter you. Most people relish a dispute yet deny it because they’re unaware they’re enjoying it. You’re not alone.
Why do you enjoy a dispute?
The emotions arising from a dispute act like a drug. Weird maybe, but emotions are really chemicals, like drugs. We’re addicted to and take pleasure in the “hit” from the emotion.
What emotions give you a “hit”?
- You get to feel sorry for yourself
- You see the situation as unfair and a betrayal
- You get to blame the person for the situation
- You can dream up vengeful ways to get back at them
- You get to criticize the person with your friends (the list goes on)
Deep down all this feels delicious.
BUT, bitterness, revenge and injustice hurt YOU. They don’t strengthen, they weaken you. And you don’t get what you want. They create diseases and put your life on hold.
“It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” ~~ Wayne Dyer
Contemplate this. If you stay with me, you’re already on track to greater empowerment.
2. Use Disputes as an Asset
One of your main purposes on Earth is to evolve, to rise above all those heavy emotions in point #1.
What’s one of the best ways to evolve?
Through relationships. They actually help you evolve – if you let them. We teach each other.
Why would you want to evolve?
When you do:
- You gain control over your how your life turns out
- Life becomes exciting, fun and you’re more relaxed
- Nice things just happen to you
- You’re a far more interesting person
- You meet interesting, happy people
- You gain a bright new perspective about life
- You start waking up happy and doing what you love
- Life makes sense, that’s a relief in itself
- You can see you’ve been taking many things too seriously
What’s not to like.
Read this for more benefits you get from evolving:
3. This Person is one Of Your Teachers
That idea may drive you nuts. But that’s the truth again – hard to hear.
It’s common to dislike the person who is your teacher, however your teacher may be your very loving partner too : -) Anyone who is bothering you is your teacher – even your child.
“It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself” ~~ Abraham Lincoln
Start seeing this person only as a teacher, someone acting without malice – regardless of how it seems.
See them as giving you a gift.
Even if you can’t see it now, disputes often create ways to bring us closer together – closer than ever before. Imagine one day being thankful for the dispute. Now we’re talking.
Keep in mind, only a strong person can resolve a dispute.
As you keep reading and gathering knowledge, you’re choosing to be a strong, wise person.
4. Why the Dispute Helps You Evolve & Become Happier
What part of us needs evolving?
Unbeknownst to us, behind many of our thoughts we have rigid and limited attitudes, beliefs and habits. For example: jealousy, hatred, feeling sorry for ourselves, disliking ourselves and others, blaming other people for our life, judging others, arrogance. We unconsciously think and act (and react) according to these programs.
“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable than risk being happy.” ~~ Robert Newton Anthony
If your thoughts are in the gutter, your life will be too. But, you might not realize you’re thinking that way.
Since your thoughts create your life, you want to discover which thoughts (hidden beliefs, attitudes) are creating your challenges.
How do you discover what your deeper thoughts are?
Enter the teacher.
A teacher helps you become aware of these. Disputes help you understand what you are thinking.
We don’t usually like what we see, but it is a gift. Once you’re starting to evolve you’ll love what you see – you’ll see the beautiful aspects of you in others.
5. How You Can Use the Dispute to Make You Happier
If you’re open to it, you’ll start seeing yourself in this person. It’s difficult to see yourself without having someone as a reflection.
Pretend you don’t even know this person. All you want is the message – the message is the gift. Be the scientist; open-minded and objective.
How others treat you is who you are. They’re only a “mirror” for you to see yourself, as insensitive as it seems.
“If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher.
I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them,
and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself. “ ~~ Confucius
Let’s be clear. You’re not seeing the other person, you can’t see them. You see you. For example:
- If you reject yourself, guess what? You’re going to find people who do that to you.
- If you lie to yourself or others; and we often unknowingly do, then others will be dishonest with you.
- If you feel inferior, seek approval or believe others know better than you, you’ll find them treating you with disrespect or ordering you around.
- If you hate, you will experience hatred in your life
- If you rubbish others, gossip or are disrespectful, you move into that experience yourself (and wonder why!)
And if you love and have compassion, you will move into that reward down the track.
There’s no “good” or “bad”, it just “is”.
What you’re thinking is what happens to you and if you try to hurt someone, you only hurt yourself.
The more you think and do (insert what it is) the more you experience it yourself.
Once you can see your thoughts you have choice. You can change them to fresh new powerful thoughts, thoughts that liberate you.
Another bonus: Once you’ve got the intended message, this person will most likely stop bothering you. Why? Their job is done once you get the message. Of course if you don’t, they’ll continue being a thorn in your side.
Step out of the ordinary into the extraordinary, get a head-start on disputes & on life: download the first 3 chapters of my book FREE. The powerful information you get in these 3 chapters is listed at the end of this article.
Getting your message, your gift, from this person is a vital first step because to change you need to first understand who you are. You can use the message to make you happier.
Let’s do that. You have that choice.
6. Solving a Dispute: What’s In It for You? 7 Things and more!
You’re solving the dispute with yourself, not necessarily with the other person : -) That part will take care of itself.
You now have reasons to start letting go of holding this person accountable for your misery. What you receive:
i. You move into more love, compassion and understanding
ii. You say goodbye to hurt in your life
iii. You become a free person, without depending on others for happiness
iv. You become healthier, younger, peaceful
v. You naturally become happier, therefore creating more happiness
vi. Things will start to go your way, you get rewarded
vii. All your relationships benefit, they become closer, happier and healthier
Imagine Yourself as a Very Wise Being
(If you’ve read this far, you are : -)
Choose to rise above the emotion and become objective. Those “hits’ are addictive, like a habit – so it’s important you stay strong and determined to do so for now. The addiction will fade. You are always rewarded by rising above the emotion.
“We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we are happy because we laugh.” ~~William James
Just by knowing why we have disputes and who this person really is (i.e. a teacher) you’ve already started resolving the dispute. You’re gaining a fresh viewpoint and shifting the power over to you.
This article is based on the empowering science of quantum physics. Readers tell me it’s one of their favorite aspects of the book because it tells them why their life is the way it is.
Read Part 2 – 3 Things You’re Doing to Let Others Control You. You’ll learn what you inadvertently do to let your relative control you. Part 3 will be 7 Easy Ways to Use a Dispute to Get What You Want. It shows you how to use the new understanding of yourself to make yourself happier.
We’re moving on to empower you even more.
Part 2 – 3 Things You’re Doing to Let Others Control You.
How you’re inadvertently letting others control you. You’ll be smiling : -) when you learn how to liberate yourself.
Part 3 – 7 Steps to Turning a Dispute into What You Want.
These 7 steps wrap-up parts 1 & 2, which built the understanding behind disputes. Now you have what you need to use a dispute as a valuable opportunity to transform your life.
Also inspiring and empowering:
An Easy Way to Have a Healthy Relationship (contains an excerpt from the book)
Don’t Settle For the Ordinary
Showing you why life works this way, with scientific proof.
The first 3 chapters give you:
- Who are you really? Who others are
- Why you are so extraordinarily powerful
- Proof. Easy-to-understand quantum physics, explains why.
- Where your thoughts come from
- Why your thoughts create your life
- Proof that anything is possible with thought – using latest breakthroughs in neuroscience. All simply explained.
- How to consciously choose your thoughts
- The role of your Spirit and soul, past lives
- The purpose of your body
- Why you’re on Earth
- Why you ought to love yourself first and how to do that
- Why you are free to do what you love, how to do what you love
- How to discover your dreams and goals
- How to develop greater wisdom, awareness, truth
Why this book?
This ancient wisdom has been hidden for too long. How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That! empowers you to live life on your own terms and reach your true potential. It solves the human mystery and uses science to prove why you can get anything you want. You learn why an extraordinary person is not someone else, it’s YOU!
What Others Are Saying About How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!
Getting what you want begins with knowing who you are, where you are, and what you want. This book takes you on a journey of self-discovery and provides the tools and inspiration that allow you to arrive at your desired destination.”
~~ Dr. Lois P. Frankel Ph.D., bestselling author of NICE GIRLS DON’T GET THE CORNER OFFICE and NICE GIRLS JUST DON’T GET IT
Keep it on your bedside table to motivate you every day
This book is great for anyone who wants to take control of their life and to leave the negative baggage behind and have that extraordinary life, changing your thinking to how you see situations.
Keep it on your bedside table to refer to everyday as you can just read a section that applies to you at that time.”
~~ Susieq – via Amazon
My journey has become more enlightened thanks to your book and I am now living in the moment, letting go old baggage that was hanging on with bad energy.
Very grateful to have this book enter my life. Let the magic begin!”
~~ D. Smith, Working mother of 4, Queensland
This is Janet Poole; I believe there are better ways to delight your customers and inspire your staff.
I’m a certified Know Your WHY Facilitator and Coach and a Certified Facilitator of Bob Proctor’s Thinking into Results program.
Better Ways. More Freedom.