6 empowering things you ought to know about disputes.
We’ll shift the power from the other person to you and possibly even see the brighter side.
We all know disputes are a touchy subject and the truth is hard to hear.
Be open to hear it and you’ll find more reasons to laugh at life.
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ~~ George Burns (1896 – 1996)
Everything in this article empowers YOU.
Note: This information also applies to disputes outside the family. Most disputes are not life-threatening, but in cases of physical abuse or threats, never take it lightly. Act to stop it. Still use this information to empower yourself and avoid it in the future.
This is part 1 of a 3-part series: Coming Through Family Disputes Peacefully and More Empowered
6 Empowering Things to Learn About Disputes
1. You Enjoy the Dispute
Like I said, the truth is hard to hear; don’t let that deter you. Most people relish a dispute yet deny it because they’re unaware they’re enjoying it. You’re not alone.
Why do you enjoy a dispute?
The emotions arising from a dispute act like a drug. Weird maybe, but emotions are really chemicals, like drugs. We’re addicted to and take pleasure in the “hit” from the emotion.
What emotions give you a “hit”?
You get to feel sorry for yourself
You see the situation as unfair and a betrayal
You get to blame the person for the situation
You can dream up vengeful ways to get back at them
You get to criticize the person with your friends (the list goes on)
Deep down all this feels delicious.
BUT, bitterness, revenge and injustice hurt YOU. They don’t strengthen, they weaken you. And you don’t get what you want. They create diseases and put your life on hold.
“It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” ~~ Wayne Dyer
Contemplate this. If you stay with me, you’re already on track to greater empowerment.
2. Use Disputes as an Asset
One of your main purposes on Earth is to evolve, to rise above all those heavy emotions in point #1.
What’s one of the best ways to evolve?
Through relationships. They actually help you evolve – if you let them. We teach each other.
Why would you want to evolve?
When you do:
You gain control over your how your life turns out
Life becomes exciting,fun and you’re more relaxed
Nice things just happen to you
You’re a far more interesting person
You meet interesting, happy people
You gain a bright new perspective about life
You start waking up happy and doing what you love
Life makes sense, that’s a relief in itself
You can see you’ve been taking many things too seriously
What’s not to like.
Read this for more benefits you get from evolving:
Turn your problem into an opportunity in one easy step:
Start by calling your issue a ‘challenge’ rather than a ‘problem’. You’ll immediately leave behind anxiety and suffering, and find yourself feeling reassured. Perhaps even feeling stimulated and on a new adventure. Read on to learn how to turn challenges into getting what you want.
Let’s explore more deeply into what challenges can do for you. Once you know this you’ll stop running away, you’ll eagerly face them.You’ll embrace future challenges instead of fearing them and you’ll stop getting frustrated, angry or vengeful (we often incorrectly blame others for our issues).
Challenges are an ideal opportunity to:
Discover what you really wantin your life
Learn howto get what you really want.
“Every wall is a door.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson (American lecturer, essayist and poet. Seen as a champion of individualism, 1803 – 1882)
The hidden message behind every challenge.
Discovering your greatest asset to solving your challenge.
Finding out what a challenge can teach you.
Using a challenge to become happier and get what you want.
A Challenge Says to You, ‘Wake Up!’
A challenge gives you obvious, accurate feedback on what you are currently doing in your life. It provides perspective.
Sometimes you’re asleep in your life, you feel bored, discontented, anxious, and yet are unsure why – or what to do about it.
Challenges turn on the required heat to motivate you to take a closer look at your life, make adjustments and take off in a remarkable new direction.
The more discomfort you feel, the more likely it is that you’ll take action to change your life. Use this to your advantage.
If you let them, challenges are opportunities that propel you toward getting what you want.
How to Solve Your Challenge
The most powerful asset in your life is the thoughts you choose. Quantum physics has proved to us that you experience exactly what you think.
This is the reason we feel empowered by re-labeling a ‘problem’ as a ‘challenge’. You get perspective. You choose whether your life is sad, unfair, tough, or easy, fun and exciting.
Therefore, changing your thoughts can solve your challenge.
But how do you know what you are thinking – how do you know what to change?
Use your challenge as your clue.
In other words:
This challenge IS your current thinking. Use it to draw attention to the thoughts that created it.
Thoughts always precede reality. Here are some ways to pinpoint these thoughts.
7 Steps to Using Challenges as Clues to Get What You Want
1. Tell yourself, “There is something wonderful in this for me.” (there really is!) Have an intention to discover what the challenge is showing you and what you ought to do instead.
2. Have the intention to use the challenge for your benefit – to change direction and create the life that you want. This is about YOUR evolution. This is an opportunity to evolve. Resist blaming anyone. This gives away your power. And don’t blame yourself either; that’s futile. Your experiences give you wisdom – use it to create more happiness.
3. You already have all the answers within you. Stop what you are doing. Don’t wait until your challenge really hurts to stop and do this. Merely give yourself even 15 minutes of doing nothing. You can:
Sit quietly and contemplate or
Go for a contemplative walk.
Listen for ideas and have a notebook in your pocket to jot them down.
4. There may be two parts to your answer:
One may be an immediate practical solution,
The second will be what you can learn from this situation i.e. to evolve and change your destiny.
5. Create inspirational thoughts by way of affirmations for things you want in your life once you get some ideas, e.g. ‘I have… <insert what you want>’ or ‘I am…<insert what you want>’. You can choose anything you want. Write them on cards to put around your house and say them aloud when you can. The more you align your daily thoughts with these, the more you get what you want.
6. Read books and articles which teach awareness, happiness and getting what you want.
7. Never give up. See the quote below – persistence will get you there. Depending on the challenge it may take some time for you to understand the message of the challenge.
“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”
Note: you may have to hit rock bottom to put in the “effort” to sit quietly; to take action. That is okay although it will be easier on you to act now : -)
You now know challenges are feedback and an opportunity for you and if you allow the idea, they can be a blessing. When you are ready you now have the knowledge.
As you continue to evolve you may face other challenges, but they become easier to handle because you know behind challenges is a reward for you. Let them lead you towards getting what you want.
To learn more about turning problems into fabulous opportunities order HOW TO GET ANYTHING YOU WANT – JUST LIKE THAT! from Amazon.com (Kindle also available).
The book uses the forgotten truth of ancient wisdom to lift you out of restrictive current beliefs and gives an in-depth step-by-step approach to aligning your thoughts with what you want. It also offers exercises that help integrate the knowledge into your life.
I have seen a lot of self-help books out there. But generally, they usually say the same thing with different wording. This book is something else entirely. “Just Like That!” is well written and paints a vivid picture for the reader, transporting them to a place of self awareness.”
Tip: Change Your Daily Activities Somehow, Even a Little
If you think about it, what you’ve been thinking and doing most of your life has created your current direction and situation, correct?
Repetition becomes dull and boring.
So change it up.
That is, if you want to change direction.
This simply means change the places you go each day, the roads on which you travel, what you eat, where you buy your coffee… change who you talk to, what you watch and read and even… where you sit at the dinner table.
Only little things, nothing big.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)
Contemplate what you do each day and pinpoint possible areas to change.
Importantly surround yourself with inspiration: in people, books, movies and/or make time for a hobby that inspires you.
Make conscious changes.
Change Means a New Direction – New is Exciting
By making a few simple changes, you turn yourself to face a new direction. When you face a new direction the view is different, life looks different and parts of it will be new. Voilà. Yes, new opportunities are able to come into view. New is always exciting for us. A happy life is an exciting life.