~~ Why the movie YES MAN is a brilliant example of how to find your hidden talents.
~~ Learn valuable ways to move towards doing what you love. Even if you’re in a 9 – 5 job, have bills to pay, feel like you’re barely making it and want to say, “No way, I can’t take a risk and do what I love!”
~~ How to discover your hidden talents and make your life more meaningful.
~~ What to do if you’re really stumped for what it is you love.
~~ How to become alert for new opportunities when they appear.
~~ Why it’s important to try new and fun experiences.
~~ When you allow yourself to shine, others shine brighter too.
~~ Janet’s childhood challenges and why she doesn’t believe in luck and fate.
~~ What readers are enjoying about the book HOW TO GET ANYTHING YOU WANT – JUST LIKE THAT! What makes it different to other personal growth books out there.
~~ The main life-changing message of the book HOW TO GET ANYTHING YOU WANT – JUST LIKE THAT!
A huge part of disputes is how much you unwittingly let others control you.
You can take back control by doing one thing instead; something we’ll get to in a minute. And you’ll find one of the essentials to a happy life also pops up again. Do these and life kicks along nicely.
But first it’s important to know what you may inadvertently be doing now, to let others control you.
What I tell you today is not widely known, and if known is not applied – at least I don’t see many people applying it. The good news is once the light is turned on, it stays on and you are forever more empowered.
Our aim today is to put you in charge of every situation, so you not only use disputes as an asset, but also move on from them. We want to give you freedom and have all your power under your control.
You become a magnetic personality others love to be around!
This is part 2 of a 3-part series:
Coming Through Family Disputes Peacefully and More Empowered.
Get more clarity from today’s article by first reading part 1 above.
Part 1 discussed the following:
6 Empowering points about disputes
Why disputes can be used as an asset
Who the other person really is
How to use the dispute to become happier
To Start Today, Ask Yourself These Four Questions:
“Do I try to prove others wrong?”
“Do I blame others for my circumstance?”
“Do I depend on others behaving a certain way, so I can be happy?”
“Do I try to change other people?”
It may surprise you, but if you answer YES to any of these, YOU ARE letting other people control you.
3 Things You Do to Let Others Control You & How to STOP That
1. Others Control You If You Try to Prove Them Wrong
Proving others wrong is a powerless tactic. It feels good, but gives the other person your power; that’s not our aim.
If you want a happy life, the best thing (not necessarily the easiest!) is leave the other person out of it.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” ~~ Marcus Aurelius
(Roman Emperor CE 161 – 180, considered one of the most important Stoic philosophers)
What you’ll notice about those four questions above – they all start with “Do I”.
That’s because the dispute is all about you. That’s a great thing : -) and I’ll tell you why.
Things don’t just happen to you. (again a good thing)
If you’ve read Just Like That! you’ll already know this and why, but a reminder never hurts.
You create everything that happens to you – once you know that, life becomes easier. For example:
Your health: You create your vibrant health or illness and pain
Your relationships: You create fun in your relationships or disappointment
Your finances: You create doing what you enjoy or a struggle
Your career: You create an enjoyable job or a hard, unfulfilling slog
You even create your disputes.
You continue to create everything every day.
Do you realize how powerful and wonderful that is? It means you can choose what you create in future.
Choice = power. Choose to be in control of your life = then you are. Choose to be a victim = then you are.
So, why does trying to prove the other person wrong give them your power?
By saying they caused an issue in your life, you’re choosing to be powerless and give them the power to influence your life.
Remember, you can choose to feel powerless – and of course then you are. Your thought decides your life. You have free will to give that power away and be a victim to others.
BUT. Even though you’ve handed them your power, you’re still creatingeverything that happens in your life. It’s just that you’re creating situations where you are powerless.
Today our goal is to return your power to you – through knowledge.
A powerful strategy is to take responsibility for the dispute. Taking responsibility means you accept you created the dispute.
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” ~~ Jim Rohn
When you do, you instantly move into a PROACTIVE ROLE in your life…
… rather than being reactive and dependent on others. You are taking control and choosing your future.
Quantum physics proves what you think creates what you have in your life.
And if you create your life, it’s absolute. It doesn’t only apply to some things and not others, it’s everything.
This may seem impossible right now, but knowledge points the way – makes it fun in fact. This knowledge is already available to you, but it is your job to find, read and apply it. Do that and your life becomes *magical*.
How you can take control today: Learn more about taking responsibility for disputes – for everything. Learn how to do that and apply it. Read this:
Because blame feels deliciously sweet, you actually feel “good” for a moment. This is due to a chemical rush, again like a drug. You feel absolved of the situation and it’s a chance to complain and have others feel sorry for you.
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~~ Dr. Robert Anthony
Blaming others means you let them control you.
Why?
Think about it – when you blame it’s because the person angered or disappointed you – in other words made you angry or sad. This also means they decide whether you feel happy or sad. You’re at their mercy.
If they’re nice to you, you’re happy. If they’re nasty you have a bad day.
Personally I’d rather choose happiness – on my terms, regardless of those around me.
I’ll put it bluntly:
If you truly are powerful enough to create all aspects of your life (you are)…
… how can you blame someone else for your situation or how you feel?
When you’re locked up in a cycle of blame, it is almost impossible for you to focus on and experience joy – you are effectively in a self-created prison. When you focus on retaliation or revenge, retaliation becomes your life so you create more of it. Life becomes harder as even more people retaliate upon you.
You created this and you can change this.
In a bizarre way, sadness and self-pity are also addictive emotions that feel “good”. But the good feeling quickly disappears, and you’re soon hunting for another hit.
It’s a downward spiral. Blaming others keeps you going south. At some point you’ll realize the truth and become desperate enough to stop the cycle and change direction. Today perhaps? : -)
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.” ~~ Wayne Dyer
On the other side of this are fun, laughter and getting along with everyone – on your own terms.
That can be you when you say, “YES, I want that”.
The lesson is: blame no-one, not even you. Let the situation merely be a learning opportunity for you: not good and not bad.
How does that work?
Often we’re unaware of our thoughts. If your life is the result of what you think, it means you can use every situation to learn how you’re thinking, and therefore change your thoughts to create what you want.
More help coming your way: Part 3 – 7 Easy Ways to Use the Dispute to Get What You Want – posted soon, helps you discover the meaning behind disputes and how they can help you find real happiness.
How you can take control today: Take responsibility to learn more about how life works, how you’re creating your life, why you can never blame others. Then start using that knowledge to take control and get what you want. Start with this:
You can get Chapter 3 WHATEVER YOU THINK IS TRUE from my book – part of the 3 chapter FREE download – it’s a powerful chapter about how thought works, plus it has an easy exercise to help you: HOW TO CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE THOUGHTS.
3. Others Control You If You Depend on Them Behaving a Certain Way
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” ~~ Oscar Wilde
Even if the other person is attacking you, dig a little deeper and you’ll find you want them to change and behave a certain way.
Remember, controlling someone or forcing them to do what you want is equal to slavery, something we abhor. (yet we still do this but don’t see it that way)
But here’s the catch. By trying to control someone, you become the one controlled.
“I’LL PICK OUT THE GOOD POINTS & IMITATE THEM, THE BAD POINTS & CORRECT THEM IN MYSELF.” (smart fellow)
6 empowering things you ought to know about disputes.
We’ll shift the power from the other person to you and possibly even see the brighter side.
We all know disputes are a touchy subject and the truth is hard to hear.
Be open to hear it and you’ll find more reasons to laugh at life.
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ~~ George Burns (1896 – 1996)
Everything in this article empowers YOU.
Note: This information also applies to disputes outside the family. Most disputes are not life-threatening, but in cases of physical abuse or threats, never take it lightly. Act to stop it. Still use this information to empower yourself and avoid it in the future.
This is part 1 of a 3-part series: Coming Through Family Disputes Peacefully and More Empowered
6 Empowering Things to Learn About Disputes
1. You Enjoy the Dispute
Like I said, the truth is hard to hear; don’t let that deter you. Most people relish a dispute yet deny it because they’re unaware they’re enjoying it. You’re not alone.
Why do you enjoy a dispute?
The emotions arising from a dispute act like a drug. Weird maybe, but emotions are really chemicals, like drugs. We’re addicted to and take pleasure in the “hit” from the emotion.
What emotions give you a “hit”?
You get to feel sorry for yourself
You see the situation as unfair and a betrayal
You get to blame the person for the situation
You can dream up vengeful ways to get back at them
You get to criticize the person with your friends (the list goes on)
Deep down all this feels delicious.
BUT, bitterness, revenge and injustice hurt YOU. They don’t strengthen, they weaken you. And you don’t get what you want. They create diseases and put your life on hold.
“It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” ~~ Wayne Dyer
Contemplate this. If you stay with me, you’re already on track to greater empowerment.
2. Use Disputes as an Asset
One of your main purposes on Earth is to evolve, to rise above all those heavy emotions in point #1.
What’s one of the best ways to evolve?
Through relationships. They actually help you evolve – if you let them. We teach each other.
Why would you want to evolve?
When you do:
You gain control over your how your life turns out
Life becomes exciting,fun and you’re more relaxed
Nice things just happen to you
You’re a far more interesting person
You meet interesting, happy people
You gain a bright new perspective about life
You start waking up happy and doing what you love
Life makes sense, that’s a relief in itself
You can see you’ve been taking many things too seriously
What’s not to like.
Read this for more benefits you get from evolving:
That idea may drive you nuts. But that’s the truth again – hard to hear.
It’s common to dislike the person who is your teacher, however your teacher may be your very loving partner too : -) Anyone who is bothering you is your teacher – even your child.
“It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself” ~~ Abraham Lincoln
Start seeing this person only as a teacher, someone acting without malice – regardless of how it seems.
See them as giving you a gift.
Even if you can’t see it now, disputes often create ways to bring us closer together – closer than ever before. Imagine one day being thankful for the dispute. Now we’re talking.
Keep in mind, only a strong person can resolve a dispute.
As you keep reading and gathering knowledge, you’re choosing to be a strong, wise person.
4. Why the Dispute Helps You Evolve & Become Happier
One step at a time; no need to turn your life upside down. (plenty of time for that :- )
Side note:The fun part is the journey to your goal, not necessarily the end result.
“Every artist was first an amateur.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
One Easy Way to Discover Your Hidden Talents & Make Your Life Meaningful
Introduce things you love into your life today, and create a pathway to a job you love. Say these two sentences to yourself – slowly, consciously and out loud for several days:
“I already know what it is I love to do and I have the freedom to do it TODAY!”
“I’m so grateful to be doing what I love – it’s exciting to wake up every day enthusiastic about my day ahead.”
(or you can create your own, play with the words so that you get a sense of excitement)
I know this sounds wacky but this is powerful because it is an intention.
SAY, “YES”!
Be alert to new opportunities when they appear – because they will. It’s your job to act on them.
Become a “Yes Man or Woman”, remember the movie YES MAN and how Jim Carrey’s character radically turned his life around when he stopped saying no and started saying yes?
Say, “YES” to fun and new experiences. It’s your right to do so.
You’ll soon know what you want to do and be doing something you love.
“Hide not your talents, they for use were made, What’s a sundial in the shade?” ~~Benjamin Franklin
How This Person Discovered Their Passion in Only a Few Days
Someone I know, let’s call her Tracy, recently faced this situation.
Tracy had an uncomfortable ailment. Her symptoms strongly indicated she needed to find and do something she loves in her life.
I suggested two things: 1. Contemplate the message she’s getting from her body and 2. Introduce something new and fun to her life. S
he said the problem was she didn’t know what her talents are or what she loves to do. She’s not alone in this dilemma.
Turn your problem into an opportunity in one easy step:
Start by calling your issue a ‘challenge’ rather than a ‘problem’. You’ll immediately leave behind anxiety and suffering, and find yourself feeling reassured. Perhaps even feeling stimulated and on a new adventure. Read on to learn how to turn challenges into getting what you want.
Let’s explore more deeply into what challenges can do for you. Once you know this you’ll stop running away, you’ll eagerly face them.You’ll embrace future challenges instead of fearing them and you’ll stop getting frustrated, angry or vengeful (we often incorrectly blame others for our issues).
Challenges are an ideal opportunity to:
Discover what you really wantin your life
Learn howto get what you really want.
“Every wall is a door.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson (American lecturer, essayist and poet. Seen as a champion of individualism, 1803 – 1882)
Key Points
The hidden message behind every challenge.
Discovering your greatest asset to solving your challenge.
Finding out what a challenge can teach you.
Using a challenge to become happier and get what you want.
A Challenge Says to You, ‘Wake Up!’
A challenge gives you obvious, accurate feedback on what you are currently doing in your life. It provides perspective.
Sometimes you’re asleep in your life, you feel bored, discontented, anxious, and yet are unsure why – or what to do about it.
Challenges turn on the required heat to motivate you to take a closer look at your life, make adjustments and take off in a remarkable new direction.
The more discomfort you feel, the more likely it is that you’ll take action to change your life. Use this to your advantage.
If you let them, challenges are opportunities that propel you toward getting what you want.
How to Solve Your Challenge
The most powerful asset in your life is the thoughts you choose. Quantum physics has proved to us that you experience exactly what you think.
This is the reason we feel empowered by re-labeling a ‘problem’ as a ‘challenge’. You get perspective. You choose whether your life is sad, unfair, tough, or easy, fun and exciting.
Therefore, changing your thoughts can solve your challenge.
But how do you know what you are thinking – how do you know what to change?
Use your challenge as your clue.
In other words:
This challenge IS your current thinking. Use it to draw attention to the thoughts that created it.
Thoughts always precede reality. Here are some ways to pinpoint these thoughts.
7 Steps to Using Challenges as Clues to Get What You Want
1. Tell yourself, “There is something wonderful in this for me.” (there really is!) Have an intention to discover what the challenge is showing you and what you ought to do instead.
2. Have the intention to use the challenge for your benefit – to change direction and create the life that you want. This is about YOUR evolution. This is an opportunity to evolve. Resist blaming anyone. This gives away your power. And don’t blame yourself either; that’s futile. Your experiences give you wisdom – use it to create more happiness.
3. You already have all the answers within you. Stop what you are doing. Don’t wait until your challenge really hurts to stop and do this. Merely give yourself even 15 minutes of doing nothing. You can:
Sit quietly and contemplate or
Go for a contemplative walk.
Listen for ideas and have a notebook in your pocket to jot them down.
4. There may be two parts to your answer:
One may be an immediate practical solution,
The second will be what you can learn from this situation i.e. to evolve and change your destiny.
5. Create inspirational thoughts by way of affirmations for things you want in your life once you get some ideas, e.g. ‘I have… <insert what you want>’ or ‘I am…<insert what you want>’. You can choose anything you want. Write them on cards to put around your house and say them aloud when you can. The more you align your daily thoughts with these, the more you get what you want.
6. Read books and articles which teach awareness, happiness and getting what you want.
7. Never give up. See the quote below – persistence will get you there. Depending on the challenge it may take some time for you to understand the message of the challenge.
“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”
Thomas Edison
Note: you may have to hit rock bottom to put in the “effort” to sit quietly; to take action. That is okay although it will be easier on you to act now : -)
So Remember…
You now know challenges are feedback and an opportunity for you and if you allow the idea, they can be a blessing. When you are ready you now have the knowledge.
As you continue to evolve you may face other challenges, but they become easier to handle because you know behind challenges is a reward for you. Let them lead you towards getting what you want.
To learn more about turning problems into fabulous opportunities order HOW TO GET ANYTHING YOU WANT – JUST LIKE THAT! from Amazon.com (Kindle also available).
The book uses the forgotten truth of ancient wisdom to lift you out of restrictive current beliefs and gives an in-depth step-by-step approach to aligning your thoughts with what you want. It also offers exercises that help integrate the knowledge into your life.
What Readers and Critics are Saying about How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!
I love that this book tells you that you embrace yourself instead of changing yourself to fit within the world’s idea of how you should be. To be your own person and to love yourself.”
I have seen a lot of self-help books out there. But generally, they usually say the same thing with different wording. This book is something else entirely. “Just Like That!” is well written and paints a vivid picture for the reader, transporting them to a place of self awareness.”
janetpoole.com 