Why you help yourself AND others
when you ditch obligation!
If you’re frustrated or bored, you’re probably doing obligation and it means you have chosen to put other people’s lives ahead of your own, and it’s not admirable.
Change this or kiss goodbye to your goals and dreams because your focus is on helping other people achieve their dreams. When that happens we rarely get around to doing what is important to us.
“Once you say you’re going to settle for second, that’s what happens to you.”
John F. Kennedy
Love Who You Are, Do What You Love
You are here to experience life on Earth: your life. Your first step is to love yourself. When you love you, then you have what you need to love others.
Anything else is an unfulfilled, uphill battle. Become a light to the world and lead the way for others to do the same. You’re not perfect, we know that. No-one is – we are all continuing to evolve. Approve of everything you think, say and do.
You are here to fulfill your goals and dreams, to create new adventures, to explore life.
Once you’re on the right path for you, once you’re filled up… then reach out to others.
You can’t live someone else’s life for them. You are here to achieve as much happiness as you can and always remember you are entitled to get what you want.
The more you love yourself the more you get what you want. Be outrageous and live your life to the full.
Key Points
- Are you trapped into constantly having to please other people?
- Are you scared to say no?
- Why putting yourself second causes you distress.
- How to know if you are doing obligation.
- How to break with tradition and follow the path that makes you happy.
- How you’ll be supported when you do what makes you happy.
Yes, You Can Say, ‘No’
We robotically follow the unwritten rules of society. Society, religions and culture, over many generations have decided ‘acceptable’ behavior for you. We seldom stop and say, ‘What if I don’t want to do this?’
Yes, you can say, ‘No.’
Obligation is subtle. Sometimes we overlook our unwillingness to comply because it is so deeply buried and masked.
Observe how life plays out around you, including your job – is it also an obligation? Study other people… this is happening to most of us.
We spend most of our day satisfying other people. If you do this it damages your health and happiness.
Before you help someone, allow yourself to stand back and consider what you’re consenting to. Do it for the right reasons.
If you don’t want to help there is a good reason, perhaps not clear to you. There is also usually an alternative.
If there is no hidden agenda or expectation in your offer to help, go for it.
Why Do You Do Obligation?
Lurking behind obligation is our need for acceptance from others. If our behavior is different or at odds with our culture, we’re noticed and are potentially a target for disapproval. We police each other to behave ‘appropriately’.
For most of us, the love we receive from others is conditional – directly dependent on how we behave. We all know this subconsciously, so we ‘behave’. We love the fuzziness of approval.
We have an innate knowingness that to experience condemnation by our peers would feel like being banished into the wilderness, where it seems our very survival is threatened.
How to Know If You Are Doing Obligation
When there is no sense of fun and excitement in your activities. Ideally, you should wake up enthusiastic about the day ahead. Question whether you have choice in what you do.
Crabby, Bitter vs Happy, Fulfilled…Which One Do You Want?
Who do you think is a greater asset to you and the world? The crabby, bitter personality who is living a lie or the sunshiny one who loves their life?
Your only obligation should be to yourself! When you are happy and fulfilled, you are fun to be around.
WHEN YOUR CHALICE IS FULL,
YOU ARE A BLESSING TO OTHERS.
Follow Your Dreams and Feel Fabulous
Once you have the courage to break with the traditions of society, to do what makes you happy, you will discover that a new sense of power and confidence washes over you.
You are loving you – perhaps for the first time, and people and circumstances magically appear and fall into place.
The People Who Matter Will Love You and Be Inspired
Fitting into other people’s expectations may still be tempting because it is a habit but gradually the need diminishes.
The people who matter in your life will accept the new you, and you will become an inspiration for them to change their lives.
Other people may drift away and that is to be expected.
New people will arrive, people who will take you onward with your journey, to even greater happiness.
Being Human is Beautiful
A beautiful aspect of being human is that we love to help others, and you will always do so – but on your own terms.
Ensure there is balance and choice in what you do; make sure you do what you want to do.
Do you love yourself the way you are? Learn how to value yourself and live life on your own terms.
For more ways to ditch obligation and why it is both unhealthy and unhelpful for everyone, see the book How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!
***DOWNLOAD 3 FREE Radical Chapters TODAY***
The book uses the forgotten truth of ancient wisdom to lift you out of restrictive current beliefs and provide an in-depth step-by-step approach to aligning your thoughts with what you want. It also offers exercises that help integrate the knowledge into your life.
What Readers and Critics are Saying about How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!
Just want to thank you for a wonderful book. My mother purchased it for me for Christmas and I have loved every word written.
I am about to read it again to absorb more of the wonderful lessons.
My journey has become more enlightened thanks to your book and I am now living in the moment, letting go old baggage that was hanging on with bad energy.
Very grateful to have this book enter my life. Let the magic begin!“
~~ D. Smith, Working mother of 4, Queensland Australia
“Just Like That!” covers so many topics that it would be too numerous to mention all of my “Ah ha” moments. But I can say that there were many that helped me to better understand my behaviors and thought patterns, and those of others.
In looking at how and why other people might act like they do, it helped me to feel more compassion towards them. I also learned a lot about not getting sucked in to other people’s issues or letting them control me with their negativity or letting myself get sucked into helping them when it might not be in my best interest or theirs.”
~~ Paige Lovitt – Reader Views
See here for more book reviews of How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!
Related Reading:
5 Reasons You’re Not Asking For What You Want
Do You Think For Yourself? Here’s How to Start
10 Reasons Loving Yourself Gets You What You Want
7 Things Happy People Do – They Put Themselves First (Part 3 of 7)
This is Janet Poole and I believe in freedom and living our true potential.
I believe in finding better ways to live a better life.
I believe in being someone you can count on for support all the way into achieving your goal.
I have searched the world to find the best ways to grow, get permanent change and achieve your wildest dreams — I have found it in the program Thinking Into Results.
Better Ways. More Freedom.
Contact Janet Poole here
janetpoole.com 