Personal Development

Your Troubled Relationships – Could This Be The Hidden Cause? (Part 1)

Published on April 11, 2015February 14, 2016 by Janet

We only see WHAT WE WANT TO SEE.

It’s rare for us to see things as they truly are.

If we were WILLING to see things the way they are, many of our issues would be gone in a flash.

Most of us have no idea that we’re STUBBORN.

We don’t know we’re stubborn because it’s hidden and we don’t want to hear the idea of being stubborn because we’d rather blame something or someone… but that’s not the path to FREEDOM.

“Humility and freedom go hand in hand.
Only a humble person can be free.”
~~ Jeff Wilson

The more challenging the relationship and the closer the relationship, the more stubborn we get!

I hope you know by now – intellectually at least – that you can only change yourself.

It’s strange.

We know this and expect it of others, but when it comes to our own interactions with others we stubbornly insist THEY change.

Quantum physics proves that’s not how it works, but would you truly like to depend on others for your happiness?

You see, we can’t see the situation as it really is.

“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters,
your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame
yourself. It’s never your fault.
But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to
change you’re the one who has got to change.”

~~ Katharine Hepburn

Now… if you’re being stubborn, what does that mean for you?

A lot.

It means you’ve put your life on hold; you’re waiting for someone else to change.

The problem with waiting?

What if they never change?

It means you’re stuck and choosing to hold yourself back from a beautiful life.

It’s you… you’re doing this. No-one else.

Day after day you’re giving your attention to something that drags you down.
Day after day you’re blaming the other person and giving your power to them.

That person controls your life.

The weeks go by, the tension mounts and you get more irritated, frustrated and angry.
You’ll probably whine and complain with whoever will listen.

If you’re okay with that there’s nothing more to be said (but I urge you to check out part 2 of this article)

Alternatively, you could see this as a golden opportunity to grow personally, liberate yourself and move into fun rewards.

What can you do?

Take the initiative and ask yourself what you can do to create your own happiness and NEVER AGAIN depend on anyone else.

This is a path only for the humble and courageous because blame feels so delicious but…

What if you saw this as good news?
What if you could see you’ve been imprisoning yourself?
What if you could see you’re holding the key to your own freedom?

I’m unwilling for my happiness to depend on other people’s behaviour.

I LOVE the rewards I get by choosing my happiness; it feels good.

How about you?
I hope you go for taking responsibility because your happiness depends on it!

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How to Get Massive Business Growth the Heart-Felt Way

Published on February 26, 2015February 14, 2016 by Janet

Do you ever feel you have to be what you’re NOT, in order to succeed?

I’ve felt the pressure to do that, most of us have.

More so since publishing my book, mainly because I entered the world of marketing.

You may have noticed marketing is generally manipulative e.g. they use fear, peer pressure etc which doesn’t sit right with me.

The strategies create stress for everyone involved and are short-term solutions.

While I believe most businesses start out with intentions beyond self-gain, they often slip into becoming more about profit and beating the competition than genuine service.

I’ve believed for the longest time it’s possible for us all to create a wildly successful business and life in an authentic, heart-centred “true to ourselves” kind of way.

– I believe we never have to steamroll anyone
– I believe there’s no need to be competitive
– I believe there’s no need for manipulation
– I believe we can succeed by being authentically ourselves.

Consider this…

Simon Sinek wrote a book called Start with WHY.

Watch Simon Sinek’s inspiring TED Talk below (20 minutes)

See how Simon Sinek cracked the code to the ASTOUNDING success of companies like APPLE and HARLEY DAVIDSON.

Start with WHY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZd3AxmnE

It all starts with your WHY.

Your WHY is your gift, it’s what makes you unique and special.
Your WHY is what you believe.

Have you ever asked,
“WHY AM I HERE?”
“WHY DO I MATTER?”

When you know your WHY, your life makes sense.

Great… but what if you DON’T KNOW YOUR WHY?

And this WHY is NOT the reason you want to lose weight or start a project, it’s much, MUCH deeper than that.

Once you KNOW YOUR WHY…

– you get CLARITY and DIRECTION
– you live with PASSION
– you attract GREAT CUSTOMERS who become RAVING FANS
– you transform your BUSINESS CULTURE
– you hire the RIGHT PEOPLE
– your employees become ENGAGED and INSPIRED
– your relationships get CLOSER and BETTER

BUT… all of this can only happen when you KNOW YOUR WHY.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

It all starts when you KNOW YOUR WHY!

Drop Diplomacy and Choose Freedom (Part 2)

Published on January 8, 2015July 10, 2016 by Janet

flowers-painting-1391872491b4f We use diplomacy as a SURVIVAL technique.
If we’re in survival mode we’re not free.

This is about being able to live in truth, YOUR truth!

(Click here for Part 1)

“Your experience is unique, as is your truth. Everyone’s version of the truth is different, because everyone’s knowledge and experience is different.”
~~ How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That! (P. 29)
(click here to get the first 3 chapters free)

Today we’re talking about all those excuses and explanations we use when the truth feels too uncomfortable.

Let’s imagine a simple scenario –
you’re late for an appointment or need to change one.

Would your first impulse be to put forward an excuse or explanation?

There’s a subtlety here that sneaks by unnoticed and it’s to do with your real belief about your power.

If you’re offering excuses and explanations it means you’re being pushed around by people or circumstances; you’re not free.

It means something out of your control happened TO YOU and you couldn’t help it.

Let’s always remember YOU ARE POWERFUL…
YOU ARE CREATING EVERYTHING in every moment by
what you THINK.

This applies to everyone.

You and the other person involved are BOTH creating… not just “now and then”… in ALL circumstances.

Most of us are intending to do the right thing, so none of this is malicious, but let’s all take responsibility for what happens —
You created being late.
They created you being late.

Let’s acknowledge that.
Let’s embrace that.
Let’s stop giving your power away.

As mentioned in part 1, this is not about being insensitive, arrogant, hurting anyone’s feelings or assigning blame; we can be gentle while speaking our truth.

This is about LOVE and about recognizing we cannot make other people happy.

The best thing you can do for another person is love yourself and live your own truth.

That way you lead the way for others to do the same.
If you don’t, everyone continues around in circles unsuccessfully trying to make others happy.

Scratch the surface of an excuse and you’ll find… fear.

Are you concerned the truth will make you look unreliable, disorganized, irresponsible or uncaring?

Consider this…

A genuinely confident, self-sufficient person who loves themselves has none of the above concerns and has no need to explain themselves.

Let’s dive deeper.

What about the issue of hurting someone’s feelings.
If that’s your concern you haven’t yet fully grasped your power and that of others.

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
~~ Mahatma Ghandi

By feeling the need to manage another person’s feelings you believe they rely on you to feel good. Wouldn’t that mean you’re also depending on others making you feel good?

Do you see how this works?

Would you be okay with knowing others had to handle you with diplomacy to keep you happy — and in the process couldn’t tell you the truth ?

What if you could love yourself so much you can hear and handle the truth, no matter what?

I’m not saying that’s easy but what a powerful way to live!
That’s FREEDOM and if you want it you can have it.

Be the example and others will follow.

It’s a powerful moment when you really “get” that:

you do not have to play the game of keeping others happy
you do not depend on others for your happiness
others do not depend on you

you’re big and bold… YOU’RE FREE!

If you want to be FREE, what can you do?

1. Start by observing people making excuses or explaining themselves.
Not to judge, merely to learn.

2. Play with speaking your truth or saying what you want without excuses and explanations. It will seem strange at first.

I know personally how confronting it can be to speak and live your truth…
… but what happens if you don’t?

You’ll see, if the people in your life don’t value the truth like you do, you’ll start shifting into new circumstances and people who do!

You’ll start enjoying love and FREEDOM beyond your wildest imagination.

This has been my experience.

Drop Diplomacy and Choose Freedom (Part 1)

Published on January 1, 2015July 10, 2016 by Janet

Even though we celebrate January 1^st as the start of a new year, every day is the start of another year.

What if we lived every day of our year in absolute TRUTH?

You see, a person who is “diplomatic”
is NOT FREE.

Do ever feel the need to be diplomatic?
If so, are you stunting your spiritual growth and freedom?

FREEDOM begins with TRUTH.

“The high-minded man must care more for the truth
than for what people think.”
~~ Aristotle

Today I’m delving into the nuances of FREEDOM because while we may be born free, most people do not live in freedom.

We may consider ourselves honest in our dealings with others, the fact is we tend to avoid the TRUTH or soften it with diplomacy.

Note: Your TRUTH is always unique to you (see free 3 chapters of my book page 29)

If you can’t speak your truth, you’re not free.

This is a contentious issue and this article may need some contemplation.

This isn’t about right and wrong, merely allow these ideas to linger as a maybe.

Stay with me if you can.

Why do we avoid the TRUTH?

Because the truth, by itself, can seem cold and harsh.

Could it be diplomacy is just a socially acceptable way of hiding the truth?

Many societies glorify diplomacy. There was a time when our survival depended on our “diplomatic abilities” because being out of favour meant dire consequences such as being cast out of the tribe.

Rocking the boat was just too dangerous. In some societies this is still the case and if that’s your situation I suggest you proceed with caution.

This is no longer the case for many of us but the desire to fit in and be liked is recorded in our soul, it remains in our DNA and continues to push us around.

If fear of disapproval is a big one for you but you’d like to evolve beyond this planet, then it’s important you learn to master it.

Allow me to add this is not about assigning blame or being deliberately insensitive and arrogant; it is possible to be gentle while speaking the truth.

Our aim is to always treat others with love and respect, and never intentionally hurt people’s feelings.

We want to come from a place of LOVE and believe it or not this topic is all about LOVE. Loving yourself first and allowing that love to spill over to others.

LOVE and TRUTH are inextricably combined.

One can’t generalize of course, so there will be situations warranting a discussion, the key here is we generally explain ourselves way too much.

It’s time to live and speak your truth without fear of retribution.

If you believe you’ll be rejected or “cast out” for saying what you believe, then that’s your truth and you’ll live it.

If you believe you’re entitled to freedom then that’s your truth and you’ll be free.

As I often say, if we’re not speaking the truth then it surely must be a lie.

I, too, sometimes catch myself with the temptation to soften the truth. I insist on catching and correcting it because I so strongly believe we’re born free and ought to live free.

It starts with courage.

Do you have the courage to speak the truth so you can be FREE?

When you have the courage to liberate yourself through truth, you’re also giving others that gift.

Choose to step forward and lead the way.

Part 2 explains more: Drop Diplomacy and Choose Freedom

Is Anything Really Possible?

Published on December 18, 2014July 10, 2016 by Janet1 Comment

Henry Ford — “PRODUCE IT ANYWAY”

Most of us have big dreams but at some point we compromise.

There’s NO limit to the power of your mind.
You’re an infinite being.

Let’s allow that to be a reminder because our culture has misled us into thinking some things are possible, some impossible.

Send a message to someone on the other side of the world within seconds?
50 years ago they’d have said that’s impossible.

“When Henry Ford decided to produce his famous
V-8 motor, he chose to build an engine with the
entire eight cylinders cast in one block, and instructed
his engineers to produce a design for the engine.

The design was placed on paper, but the engineers
agreed, to a man, it was simply impossible to cast
an eight-cylinder engine-block in one piece.

Ford replied, “Produce it anyway.”

~~ Henry Ford

Remember… if you have a dream, then it’s possible to have it. Otherwise your imagination wouldn’t be capable of creating it.

IMAGINATION is where it all begins. Look around you.

Everything you see started in someone’s imagination.

3 Easy Steps to Create Anything You Want

1. Write a short story…

… as if telling a new friend about your life AS IT IS RIGHT NOW.
Write what you do each day, where you live, your financial situation, family, relationships, health and so on (be totally honest).

2. Now completely reverse the story.

Take each sentence and topic, TURN IT INTO WHAT YOU DO WANT and then enhance it. Use your power of imagination and IMAGEine yourself, picture yourself living this already.

3. Ask yourself, “Do I REALLY WANT this?”

If that’s a YES, great let’s keep going.
Now, I want you to ask yourself two questions.

i. “Am I ABLE to create this?”

The truth is, if you’re human, if you’re alive and breathing then YOU ARE ABLE.

There is NO LIMIT to who you are and what you can achieve NOR does it matter what happened in your past.
It only matters if you want this right now.

So right now say, “YES I AM ABLE”.

ii. Now ask yourself, “Am I WILLING?”

Am I willing to change?
Am I willing to take advice?
Am I willing to “fail”?
Am I willing to experience rejection?
Am I willing to do what it takes to have this?

If you can truly say, “YES, I AM WILLING” then you’ve already started creating your new results.

That may sound too simple but this is not complicated. Honestly, this is how I created the first and subsequent improvements in my life (explained in How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!).

I’m going to assume for this purpose you understand your thoughts create your reality. Keep that in mind and ask yourself what happens if you have no idea what you want?

How will you get what you want if you don’t even know what it is?

“The greatest story of all is Colonel Sanders.
He didn’t start until he was sixty-six on a freeway
bypass for his chicken shop. Anything is possible!”
~~ Robert Kiyosaki

What will happen if you keep focusing on what you DON’T want?

When you decide what you want and have a serious, burning desire to achieve it AND ARE WILLING to do what it takes… then you will have it AND your journey to get there will be the greatest fun you’ve ever had.

Whatever you FOCUS on, comes into being.

Once you’ve written your story and decided to have it, you’ve done something truly magical.

You’ve given yourself a BLUEPRINT of your FUTURE and a glimpse of your true potential. Often that’s all we need.Have fun… say YES to what you want and be WILLING to have it!

P.S. Henry Ford is one of my favourite inspirations. Look around next time you’re on the road. Henry Ford started it all and when he started manufacturing cars, he was it. For example, back then there were no companies manufacturing tyres, gearboxes, steering boxes etc. From start to finish, Ford did it all!

Category: Personal Development

Your Troubled Relationships – Could This Be The Hidden Cause? (Part 1)