Your Troubled Relationships – Could This Be The Hidden Cause? (Part 1)

We only see WHAT WE WANT TO SEE.

It’s rare for us to see things as they truly are.

If we were WILLING to see things the way they are, many of our issues would be gone in a flash.

Most of us have no idea that we’re STUBBORN.

We don’t know we’re stubborn because it’s hidden and we don’t want to hear the idea of being stubborn because we’d rather blame something or someone… but that’s not the path to FREEDOM.

“Humility and freedom go hand in hand.
Only a humble person can be free.”

~~ Jeff Wilson

The more challenging the relationship and the closer the relationship, the more stubborn we get!

I hope you know by now – intellectually at least – that you can only change yourself.

It’s strange.

We know this and expect it of others, but when it comes to our own interactions with others we stubbornly insist THEY change.

Quantum physics proves that’s not how it works, but would you truly like to depend on others for your happiness?

You see, we can’t see the situation as it really is.

“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters,
your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame
yourself. It’s never your fault.
But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to
change you’re the one who has got to change.”

~~ Katharine Hepburn
Now… if you’re being stubborn, what does that mean for you?

A lot.

It means you’ve put your life on hold; you’re waiting for someone else to change.

The problem with waiting?

What if they never change?

It means you’re stuck and choosing to hold yourself back from a beautiful life.

It’s you… you’re doing this. No-one else.

Day after day you’re giving your attention to something that drags you down.
Day after day you’re blaming the other person and giving your power to them.

That person controls your life.

The weeks go by, the tension mounts and you get more irritated, frustrated and angry.
You’ll probably whine and complain with whoever will listen.

If you’re okay with that there’s nothing more to be said (but I urge you to check out part 2 of this article)

Alternatively, you could see this as a golden opportunity to grow personally, liberate yourself and move into fun rewards.

What can you do?

Take the initiative and ask yourself what you can do to create your own happiness and NEVER AGAIN depend on anyone else. 

This is a path only for the humble and courageous because blame feels so delicious but…

What if you saw this as good news?
What if you could see you’ve been imprisoning yourself?
What if you could see you’re holding the key to your own freedom?

I’m unwilling for my happiness to depend on other people’s behaviour.

I LOVE the rewards I get by choosing my happiness; it feels good.

How about you?
I hope you go for taking responsibility because your happiness depends on it!


Related Reading:

Family Disputes : Tips to Laugh More, Cry Less (Part 1 of 3)
3 Things You’re Doing to Let Others Control You (Part 2 of 3)
7 Steps to Turning a Dispute into What You Want (Part 3 of 3)

This is Janet Poole; I believe there are better ways to delight your customers and inspire your staff.

Better Ways. More Freedom.

Knowing your WHY is like turning on the lights to your behaviour. You gain instant clarity. It’s like being introduced to yourself. When you know your WHY, you begin to understand. When you know your WHY, you realise your unique gifts. When you know your WHY, you gain clarity and confidence. When you know your WHY you live with passion.

When you know your WHY you can take your business from good to great in a single day.

Know Your WHY logo

What Do You Need Before You Can Love Someone?

all-you-need-is-loveIt makes sense that you can’t give what you don’t already have, so really this applies to EVERYTHING in life.

Never WAIT for what you want.

Be the originator of everything you desire.

You’re a natural-born powerful creator so………. go for it!

If you’d like to have more LOVE in your life, then it’s time to start filling up with love.
How do you do that?
By being loving with YOU.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
~~ Oscar Wilde

Unless you’re filling up with love for yourself, you can’t give love or share love unconditionally.
Until that time we love others conditionally, which means we expect something in return.

When you can love unconditionally you expect nothing,



This is Janet Poole and I believe in freedom and living our true potential.

I believe in finding better ways to live a better life.

I have searched the world to find the best ways to grow, get permanent change and achieve your wildest dreams — I have found it in the program Thinking Into Results.

Better Ways. More Freedom.

Contact Janet Poole here




Are You Searching for a Heart of Gold?

Heart Chocolate

Look inside.

You’ll always find your heart of gold IN YOU first.

“May your heart always be joyful. May your song always be sung.”

~~ Bob Dylan

Sitting outside having breakfast recently, enjoying Neill Young in the background, our discussions quickly moved from music to free thinking, to showing others who we truly are and our willingness (or lack of willingness!) to SHINE.

We often discuss whether our commercial music “industry” of today pales in comparison to the 50’s and 60’s.

Back then, their musical intentions were about sending  a valuable message, rather than commercial gain.

As you probably know, the Beatles started by playing in pubs; they did that for two years.

While no history lesson, here are four interesting “notes” about singing:

1. Singing apparently predates the spoken language. I did not know that.

2. Opera apparently developed in the 1590’s

3. Cliff Richard was a 50’s singer. (Right there, the possibility of staying young : )

4. The Bee Gees’ records spanned FIVE decades.

In the 50’s and 60’s they broke the mold.

Not intentionally.

They were spontaneous free thinkers and therefore inspirational.

Some of the biggest names didn’t even have a great voice!

So why do we love them?

Because they inspire us with empowering messages, the messages authentically and uniquely theirs. They were willing to shine.

In essence, they touched our hearts by following their hearts (of gold). The world is thankful they did.

And what about your heart of gold? Yes, yours.

Isn’t it time to reveal it and share it with the world? We all want you to.

Do you follow your heart or is that too much of a risk?

Regrettably most of us do what others do, do what others have already done.

We wonder why life feels so boring – why it seems as if something is missing.

If one analyzed today’s music we’d find it largely contrived, lacking spontaneity. Popular  talent programs seem to dictate a certain formula and focus almost exclusively on voice quality.

Freedom and true self-expression are discouraged.

You do know the dangers of a closed mind, don’t you?

Refreshing thoughts from Bob Dylan:

May you grow up to be righteous,

may you grow up to be true.

May you always know the truth

and see the lights surrounding you.

May you always be courageous,

stand upright and be strong.

May you stay forever young.”

Echoing my own contemplations:

“Many people still live off the echoes of the sixties.
Those ideas still being passed around with little ingenuity.

Rather than be original (risky), we seek approval (safety).”

Do you sense something is missing?

Perhaps you want to shine, be extraordinary and authentically YOU

I believe you’re already extraordinary. What are the two reasons you doubt that?

i)          You’re unaware of your birthright and that it’s your purpose to be extra-ordinary

ii)         You’re unaware you were not born to be average, mediocre – you were in fact born rich & abundant. After years immersed in society’s programming, most people eventually forget this.

ii)         You’ve forgotten HOW to be YOU.

This needs to be re-awakened in you.

How do you re-awaken the extra-ordinary in you?

You do it by discovering your heart of gold – your unique talent or gift – and boldly taking action to use it. Even if you’re not “ready”!

What if your talent isn’t “popular”?

When searching for your own genius, your own uniqueness, allow it to be whatever it is.

Don’t judge it. Allow it linger.

Don’t try to fit it in with what’s already known.

It’s okay if it is – as long as it’s absolutely truly you.

Contemplate – it’s surprisingly powerful

I encourage you to contemplate. In our entertainment-filled 9-5 world we’ve lost the willingness to contemplate – we’re too busy.

We’d rather phone a friend, send a text, even wash the dishes – anything but go within.

Yet contemplation expands your understanding of yourself and the world around you.

Contemplation is free. It’s awesomely powerful.

When you contemplate, you grow, you expand.

Contemplation has the capacity to rock your world.

7 Ways to Discover Your Heart of Gold

1. Find a quiet, peaceful place. Move yourself into nature, to a bench in a tranquil park, under a shady tree at home, the warm soft sand on a beach, in your garden or curl up on your comfy couch in front of the fire in winter. Find a way to make this a special time – it signals your intention to reveal your special gifts.

2. Contemplate what you LOVE to do and what you’re GOOD at – often they’re the same.

3. Write freely – whatever comes to mind. I often mention writing, but really that’s the greatest way to open yourself up to ideas. If you truly want to discover your talents, passions, then writing causes thinking and it stirs up images as well as beautiful emotions. That’s great! This is your gift to you. Once you start, your body will luxuriate in the attention… this is called love… for you.

4. Ask yourself the following:

  • What do I enjoy?
  • What do I do better than others – or just as well?
  • What do I love to do?
  • What am I proud of?
  • How do I help others right now?
  • What is it about me that no-one knows?

and ask yourself this:

  • If I had to choose something I love to do – what would it be?

Don’t give up, keep going until you discover your passion.

The life I’m living now was not in any way obvious to me.

Discovering my passion became a journey – perhaps it will be for you too – so you may as well start today. It’s a fun journey!

Sometimes what you’re good at is “so you” you can’t see it.

“All I can do is be me, whoever that is.” ~~ Bob Dylan

5. Select one talent or ability you love to do. Moving forward with just one of your talents will reveal even more. Yes, you have more than one – you’ll be amazed. Resist the temptation to work out where this will lead. Take one step at a time.

6. Then, take action with that one thing you love to do. If you need to, contemplate again HOW to do that. Read more about it, take courses, talk to family and friends, find ways to do more of it, or just to try it – volunteer… whatever.

7. Create an outrageous goal where you’re using your talent, what you love to do. Make it a marvelous fantasy. Don’t worry about HOW you’ll achieve it. Just dare to dream. Imagine it as if you’re already living the fruits of this fantasy. What defines a great goal?

And… what if you’re searching for the love of your life?

…or to be closer to the one you love?

It may sound crazy – but the above 7 steps will take you to that person.

Why is that? 2 Reasons:

1. If your dream is to love another and to receive their love, always start with yourself. Once you’ve allowed your heart of gold to shine, once you cherish you, you’re ready to love another heart of gold and bask in their reflection. It comes from within and you catch each others attention.

2. Being authentic is fascinating. An authentic person is attractive and fascinating. You instantly raise your self-esteem by being authentic. Once you’re being authentically you… once you’ve ditched trying to fit in, craving approval, you start sending out a strong confident message. A message you’re proud of. The company you keep starts to reflect that.

So Remember…

“You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are.

You are what you are!” ~~ John Lennon

Believe in you.

I facilitate the Thinking into Results program, a world-class personal development program by Bob Proctor for business owners who want to bring out the best in their employees and this is for individuals too. It brings back CHOICE, FREEDOM and OPPORTUNITY to your life.  

Contact me here or at janet @ … and learn how to think into results and get the results you want.

(Photo Source)

Related reading (see below)

What others are saying about Thinking into Results:

“Thinking into Results was a huge turning point for me. I used to be someone who’d lost enthusiasm for doing anything – now I’m getting up at 5am thinking of all the things I want to do. In fact, the things I need to do now are the things I WANT to do!

I’d found previous personal growth seminars, clinics, DVDs, CDs and books said a lot, but none of them did a lot. The difference with Thinking into Results is that it does a lot.

I love my new life, I know I’m on track, I know how to go forward and I’ve got the confidence to do anything.”

~~ V. Ford, Orange NSW

“It was very overwhelming to learn that your thoughts have been holding you back from the corporate growth you’ve been trying to experience. Bob helped us change the mindset to make a smooth transition from one plateau to the next.

One equation was able to take us from just over one million to just under 17 million in a matter of three years.”

~~ Christopher Guerriero,

CEO & Founder of the National Metabolic & Longevity Research Center;

CEO & Founder Wisdom Book Publishing LLC

Related reading:

Do You Think for Yourself? Here’s How to Start

Why it’s a Trap For You to Tow the Line

Are You Free?

Why Mainstream Thinking Gives You Mainstream Results

Has Your Pursuit of the Material Been at the Expense of Happiness?

Are Other People’s Dreams More Important Than Yours?

An Easy Way to Discover Your Hidden Talents and Make Your Life Meaningful

Your Playing Small Does Not Serve the World

Why You Are Never Selfish

How to Turn Boredom and Frustration into Happiness

The 6 Hazards of Waiting for a Different Future

How to Be Happy and Love Your Life

This is Janet Poole; I believe in finding better ways to live your life and grow your business.

I believe in sharing those ideas!

Better Ways. More Freedom.

An Easy Way to Have a Healthy Relationship

You’re entitled to love in your life, lots of it. Did you know that you control the amount of love that comes into your life?

It is you who decides to allow more love or to turn it away. All circumstances depend on you – in finding a new relationship as well as in how healthy it is. You are the key to everything in your life.

My book  How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That! teaches you how to get the relationships you want and how to keep them compatible.

The following extract highlights the vital part you play in having a healthy relationship.

Changing Others by Changing Yourself

“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at all times.”

Aeschylus (Greek playwright, 525–456 BC)

It sounds easier for someone else to make changes so that you can be happy. That’s less effort for you, right? You can see yourself sitting back with your feet up, watching the world dancing to your tune. Well, actually yes, but you need to decide the dance, and you need to decide the tune. If you want a new dance or tune, then again, you must change them.

Waiting for others to change means your power to create change in your life is held by other people, and they decide your life. No thanks. Fortunately, the only person you can change is yourself, because then you, and only you, hold the power to choose your life.

Most people wait or hope for others to change so they can get what they want, but this is a hopeless situation. Not only are they giving away their power, but what do they do while they are waiting? Stay miserable? I don’t think so. In any case, forcing others to change is rarely successful. The change, even if it eventually happens, will be short-term and may not be optimal for you.”

Relationships can seem like hard work, but they are our biggest teachers for self-improvement. Would you like to know how to handle relationships so that you gain confidence, have more fun and become even more compatible and closer? Here’s the secret to happy healthy relationships:  How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!

Get Started Today:

Download the First 3 Chapters of my book FREE. They will help you understand why life works this way, with scientific proof. You get to find out:

  • Who are you really? Who others are
  • Why you are so extraordinarily powerful
  • The role of your Spirit and soul, past lives
  • The purpose of your body
  • Proof. Easy-to-understand elements of quantum physics, explaining why your life is this way.
  • Why you’re on earth
  • Why you ought to love yourself first and how to do that
  • Why you are free to do what you love, how to do what you love
  • How to discover your dreams and goals
  • How to develop greater wisdom, awareness, truth
  • Where your thoughts come from
  • Why your thoughts create your life
  • Proof that anything is possible with thought – using latest breakthroughs in neuroscience such as neuroplasticity as an example. All simply explained – you’ll say, “Wow!”
  • How to consciously choose your thoughts

All in the first three chapters.

The answers to life are here in the first 3 chapters of How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That! Download now free.

So Remember…

Rather than wishing for a happy healthy relationship, take action to learn how to find one and keep it that way. The more you learn about relationships the more fun they’ll be.

Related Reading:

How to Stop Criticism… Going Out and Coming In
8 Ways You Will Change Your Life When You Ask for What You Want

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