Why it’s a Trap for You to Tow the Line

If you want to live a happy life, stop towing the line.

This is part 2 of a 2-part series. Part 1 Do You Think for Yourself? introduced you to the unwritten rules of society and suggested that you probably follow them without realizing it. Towing the line gives you the illusion of a happy life but deep down you feel robbed.

“The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.”

~~ Rita Mae Brown (American Writer b. 1944)

This article is a little different to my others in that while it tells you how to become greater, it also delivers to  you the stark reality of towing the line i.e. the downsides… and it is a downward spiral. By reading it I am hoping you will be motivated to take action, to step forward and courageously push aside those rules. To be free to live the happy life of your choosing.

The Hazards of Towing the Line …The 10 Steps to Hitting Rock Bottom in Your Life

Do you recognize this pattern, this downward spiral? (Some parts may seem tinged with sarcasm – that is not the intention. It is however the truth.)

  1. At first, you’ll feel honorable. Initially, this is what you feel by conforming. It’s your (short-term) reward for doing so.
  2. Then you’ll feel accepted as people appear to warm to you and praise you for being such a good person. Praise is a deep need for most people and it makes you believe you’re an essential part of the group, the tribe.
  3. You’ll feel safe, loved and secure because you think the tribe will protect you. You consider yourself to be doing the ‘right thing’ since you’ve made a good impression. Note: Unbeknownst to you, this is the last time you will feel good. At this point you start on the never-ending downward cycle.
  4. It starts to dawn on you that the love and protection you receive is conditional and to keep it you must keep following the rules – you must keep towing the line. Fact: the love and protection are conditional; you subconsciously know this and that there are consequences if you stray. This is where my book Just Like That! comes in. It explains that while there are certainly consequences if you stop towing the line, they pass quickly if Continue reading “Why it’s a Trap for You to Tow the Line”

Do You Think for Yourself? Here’s How to Start

Are you free to do what you want?

Or do you do what is expected of you?

You’ll probably find that without even knowing it, you follow ‘the rules’ and conform.

Obviously if you’re paid to do a job, do it.

For this purpose we’re talking about mindlessly following the unwritten rules of society; things you’ve never agreed to and you’re not paid to do.

If you have never contemplated this, then it’s likely you’ve fallen into line whether or not it’s for your benefit. Just by reading this paragraph however, you may have a lightning bolt moment; a sudden awareness about how you’re living your life.

To have confidence and a happy life, you ought to think for yourself.

“Gonna change my way of thinking, make my self a different set of rules.

Gonna put my good foot forward and stop being influenced by fools.”

Bob Dylan (American singer-songwriter and musician b. 1941)

If this Idea Pushes a Button Look Closer

This can be a touchy subject because we all like to think we’re independent thinkers, but we can’t escape the truth.

If you didn’t have a lightning bolt moment, ask yourself if this topic pushes a button for you. Does it make you uncomfortable, even a little?

If an idea pushes a button it means it applies to you in some way whether you hide from it or not.

Towing the line takes us away from what we want in life. But most people are doing it so let’s face it and acknowledge at least that you now know.

Now we can take action to liberate you and deliver to you that happy life instead.

Since I’ve had the luxury of learning I’m ‘free to be me’ and every day actively choose to be that, I’ve felt my heart soar, I’ve had a beautiful sense of liberation, confidence and I wake up even happier, with an even greater can-do attitude.

The Results Are In – You Are Free to Be You

Unfortunately, until we’re reminded that we’re free (to be whoever and whatever we want to be), we continue towing the line, doing what we think impresses others and keep trying to make ourselves more acceptable or more significant in the eyes of others.

We seldom do anything that contradicts what’s expected of us, for fear of losing the love and approval of others.

We robotically follow the rules of society – subconscious rules we’ve been indoctrinated to follow since childhood.

The rules determine what is deemed good behavior, and what isn’t.

We unconsciously know ‘good’ from ‘bad’ and we stick to being ‘good’.

Our daily life involves striving to be a glowing example of what is seen as living an ‘impressive life’.

The consequence? Continue reading “Do You Think for Yourself? Here’s How to Start”

Now You Can Overcome Fear and Get What You Want

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

Marie Curie

Fear is something every human deals with. You are not alone. The blessing is that fear is about what could happen and not what is happening. When you start to understand how you create your life, fear drops away. When you learn how to deliberately create what you want in your life, fear drops away even further. The knowledge in my book gives you that understanding and the courage to take action; knowledge and action overcome fear and anxiety. The following extract from my book Just Like That! How to Get Anything You Want[i] is an example, it zeroes in on the fear of change as well as one of the main causes of fear. Other causes of fear and how to overcome them are dealt with elsewhere in the book, giving you skills to face life fearlessly, empower your life and increase your wisdom.

Knowledge tackles fear head-on; it eliminates fear and anxiety so you can step joyfully forward into a brighter, happier future where you get what you want.

   Moving On From the Status Quo

No matter how tantalizing the potential outcome, many people fear change in their lives because the body fears the unknown and it fears losing its identity. The wanted or unwanted aspects of our identity are familiar, like a comfortable pair of shoes. We find comfort in the boundaries of our old strengths and weaknesses.

The body may go on high alert for several reasons – when we attempt to think differently, when we have a decision to make or when contemplating an unresolved part of our life. The body cannot ascertain the full consequence of the change and how the change will affect its ability to survive, and it fears its inability to cope in a new situation. It would rather stay as it is, even if it is suffering or unhappy.

“Action conquers fear.”

Peter Nivio Zarlenga (Author, The Orator)

   Just Do It

The body can procrastinate by popping up endless questions to delay action so as to stay ‘safe’. People may feel confusion as to which path to take, so they procrastinate. Procrastination is borne out of the fear of change, yet any action, even some preliminary research, takes you closer to the real answer. Any action is progress, even if it isn’t in the best direction. There is no such thing as a ‘wrong’ action, Continue reading “Now You Can Overcome Fear and Get What You Want”

10 Magic Reasons Living in the Moment Gets You What You Want

Live in the moment and get what you want.

Easier said than done of course, but an ideal I aspire to each and every day!

Living in the moment comes down to being awake and aware of what you are thinking in the moment versus being asleep or in a trance, as many of us are.

If you are asleep you are effectively under hypnosis – you are reacting with old emotions and blindly following the masses.

To help you get what you want, this is Part 1 of a 4-Part series – Why Being in the Moment Gets You What You Want

This moment ‘now’ is brand new, pure and unpolluted. Be aware of your thoughts, emotions and use the power of  ‘the now’ to create what you want.

“Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed.”

Corita Kent (1918 – 1986, artist and educator)

10 Magic Reasons Being in the Moment Gets You What You Want

  1. You’ll use the moment wisely with precision and intention to get what you want. Only awareness can do that. If you want life to be different in the future, then the time to act consciously is NOW. So, how do you know if you are in the moment? It’s simple – if you are aware of your thoughts and emotions, then you are present and in the moment. Create what you want now and you’ll naturally move into a future of what you want.
  2. You live in a constant state of joy when you’re in the moment. This is because in the ‘now’ your old emotions, dislikes and problems cease to exist – they can’t exist. These hamper your dreams and removing them paves the way for what you want.
  3. You think for yourself. You decide what is good for you in the ‘now’. You won’t blindly do what others do, you won’t do what they think is good for you or feel that you must impress others – not family, friends or colleagues.  Whatever you do when you are ‘now’, you do it for you. If you need help accepting this then read 5 Reasons You’re Not Asking For What You Want.
  4. You are not afraid. Nothing can hurt you in the moment, there is no fear; you are calm. You take responsibility for your life, you don’t need approval from anyone; you live your personal truth. Continue reading “10 Magic Reasons Living in the Moment Gets You What You Want”

Why You Are Never Selfish

Taverna AvliThe reason the word ‘selfish’ exists: most people are not doing what they want to do.

You’re entitled to live the life you were born to live, and so is everyone else.

Why shouldn’t you be happy?

Everyone is entitled to happiness.

If only it were that simple. With billions of people mindlessly following ‘the rules’ of society, it’s a big ask.

Well, we’ll make it simple; we’ll just change the rules.

Yep, the good news is that it’s logical.

You have 2 choices:

1. Start now doing what you want to do

2. Spend your whole life waiting for the right time (which never comes)

It’s said that on their deathbed, most people regret they didn’t do more of what they wanted to do. That’s hardly surprising.

 “Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live”

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Humanity is Stagnating

Fortunately for you, today, you have now discovered a choice. But for the rest of humanity, who are effectively asleep following the rules thinking they have to, this is a sham. We should feel free to do whatever we’re drawn to. Feeling that we’ve got to do what others want is suffocating us and we’re stagnating hoping something better comes along. Continue reading “Why You Are Never Selfish”