7 Things Happy People Do – They Put Themselves First (Part 3 of 7)

Candle relaxPut yourself first.

I know I know that’s supposed to be taboo.

And therefore a great reason to challenge it : -)

Putting yourself first is logical when you know why.

If you want scientific proof then I have that too.

If the idea sounds tempting then I say, good for you.

It’s 4 years since this blog post was written.
As of 2016, it’s my 4th most popular blog post.
It shows many of us are asking questions about what we’re “allowed” to have.
We have a yearning for truth.

Imagine if we ALL had permission to do what’s right for us, to follow our passions. Everyone would be happier, correct?

This is part 3 of a 7-part series: Things Happy People Do.

Key #1 is Happy People Have an Open Mind.
Key #2 is Happy People Love to Learn.

Let’s get started on #3.

Key #3:

Happy People Put Themselves First

Putting yourself first means you can follow your passion.

It’s the difference between waking up and savouring the idea of the day ahead and bouncing out of bed yelling, “Oh yea!” versus groaning, “Ugh, and now I have to get up…”!

“Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.”

Jon Bon Jovi

Would You Even Know You’re Putting Others First?

Putting others first is a program so drilled into us as children it becomes part of who we are.

Then someone (that would be me) shocks us with “put yourself first !” and we draw back in horror.

So how does putting others first play out in our life?

It means we rarely do what we want.

We spend our life trying to please our family and friends and be accepted by our peers. We do what is popular, we try to fit in, we never offend (a serious no-no), we try to impress others and appear successful and yes, we even try to appear happy.

Does feeling obligated to please others and having to constantly appear successful make you happy?
No.

Most people consider this selfish… it’s not.

Why?

That Scientific Proof You Wanted

1. Quantum physicists have proved that you can only create your own reality – by what you think and how you choose to live your life.

You don’t create someone else’s reality – you can only create yours.

2. Take that one step further and you’ll see you can’t make someone else happy; why some people are never satisfied no matter how hard you try.

3. And one more step – the flip side: You can’t expect others to make you happy.

It’s all about YOU. You make it happen for YOU.

You’ll Become More Generous and Loving

Just because you put yourself first doesn’t mean you skip your responsibilities and stop loving your children. Nor do you become selfish, nasty or greedy. You’re human: you’ll always care for others. You become even more generous, patient and loving. And you’re empowering yourself and others. Life is brilliant!

Tell me, would you rather be around someone who is vibrantly happy and inspirational or someone who is exhausted and disgruntled after years of self-sacrifice… and of course trying their best to mask it? You decide.

My Time as a Stay-at-Home Mother

Women with children surely face one of the toughest challenges to feel okay about putting themselves first.

When I was a SAHM, I was desperate for me time. So were my friends.

It didn’t help that I had no family in Australia, my daughter had started school and I had a very lively active (adorable!) 3yo son who had moved on from his afternoon naps.

Back then I didn’t know about putting myself first.

Achieving Me Time

So how did I handle the situation back then?

I must have had inkling of how important this was because I chose to put my son in childcare 5 hours on a Wednesday.

This meant I could get a cup of coffee by myself or even chop vegetables for dinner uninterrupted!

I didn’t even want to catch up with friends – I just wanted to be alone.

My son hated childcare.

The first few months were fine and he always had a lot of fun once there, but he started objecting every Wednesday morning. I persevered a little longer because I knew I was a better, more patient mother with me time.

I stopped the childcare because my son was becoming more distraught, however those 6 months gave me what I needed. He started kindergarten soon after and I got a few hours to myself.

How Can Your Attitude Help You?

You don’t have to logically work out how to put yourself first. Merely understand that you’re entitled to do so and Continue reading “7 Things Happy People Do – They Put Themselves First (Part 3 of 7)”

Are You Stuck in a Rut? Get the Confidence and Life You Want

Do you want to have fun, confidence and purpose in your life?

People do stagnate.

The question is:

Would you even know if it’s happened to you?

Sometimes we’re asleep and in a rut and don’t even know it.

How to Tell if You’re Stuck in a Rut

Being stuck in a rut means something different to everyone.

Your clue is how you’re feeling about life.

If your life is inspirational and you’re feeling confident and enthusiastic, you’re fine.

And if you do feel that way and yet you’re still reading this article, that’s brilliant.

Why?

Because life can always be even more amazing than it is now – and a part of you knows that.

Why not have it all?

Your potentials are infinite and it’s by continuing to open new avenues in your life that life stays thrilling.

“The only difference between a rut and a grave is how deep it is.”

~~ Charles Garfield

You’re stuck in a rut if you are experiencing boredom, hopelessness, anxiety, frustration or all of them.

You ought to act now and change your life otherwise you’ll become depressed or even create dis-eases in your body.

Read on to find out how to change your life, give your life purpose and even more ‘zing’.

Learn Something New – Because When You Stop Learning You Get Stuck in a Rut

When someone stops learning, their ideas become old and they start rejecting anything new. Their life starts to deteriorate and they start to live in fear.

They lose confidence.

If you try teaching them a new concept, it’s possible they’ll attack you.

They feel threatened by ‘the new’. They are comfortable in their stagnation; they are even comfortable if miserable.

The familiar is preferable and safe to them.

To get out of a rut and stop stagnation you require determination and it‘s vital that you remove boredom, frustration and hopelessness from your life.

How do you do that?

Easily: do something different.

And your first step is self-improvement. Learn something new for you. It can be anything new to you, but note you’re not after new clothes, a new car or house.

They probably got you into the rut.

Choose something that builds confidence, a new skill that interests you etc.

To help you decide what you want, my book How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That gives you all you need to find new things that interest you, and to build confidence and easily get out of that rut.

How to Jump onto an Exciting Path and Have Fun

What do you need to keep life interesting and fresh, to have fun and confidence? Continue reading “Are You Stuck in a Rut? Get the Confidence and Life You Want”

How to Find Purpose in Your Life

If you’ve ever wondered what your purpose is in life, you’ve come to the right place. An instant snapshot of your most important purposes in life is given in the extract below from my book Just Like That ! How to Get Anything You Want [i]

“Just Like That!” also shows you how to discover several other purposes unique to you and the steps to take to start living them. It is remarkably simple. The key to a happy, fulfilled life is to live your purposes every day.

   The Reason You Are On Earth

 “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Aristotle

(Ancient Greek philosopher, scientist, physician, 384–322 BC)

You do have a purpose here. Actually you have several purposes. You have come to Earth to experience life on this planet, and your main purposes are to achieve a continuous state of happiness and to expand your wisdom. It’s true, you’re meant to be happy! This is what we mean by evolving or growing. Another purpose for being on Earth, as mentioned earlier, is to create new experiences. These urgings come from your soul – it knows what’s good for you. Think about it – when you want something and get it, it means you’ll have a new experience. In other words, it doesn’t make sense that you’d be yearning for aspects of your life that you’ve already got or always had.

The springboard to taking action and using the opportunities presented to you by your soul starts with learning to love yourself and being willing to learn about both yourself and life in general. You are unlikely to get what you truly want without Continue reading “How to Find Purpose in Your Life”

Why You Are Never Selfish

Taverna AvliThe reason the word ‘selfish’ exists: most people are not doing what they want to do.

You’re entitled to live the life you were born to live, and so is everyone else.

Why shouldn’t you be happy?

Everyone is entitled to happiness.

If only it were that simple. With billions of people mindlessly following ‘the rules’ of society, it’s a big ask.

Well, we’ll make it simple; we’ll just change the rules.

Yep, the good news is that it’s logical.

You have 2 choices:

1. Start now doing what you want to do

2. Spend your whole life waiting for the right time (which never comes)

It’s said that on their deathbed, most people regret they didn’t do more of what they wanted to do. That’s hardly surprising.

 “Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live”

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Humanity is Stagnating

Fortunately for you, today, you have now discovered a choice. But for the rest of humanity, who are effectively asleep following the rules thinking they have to, this is a sham. We should feel free to do whatever we’re drawn to. Feeling that we’ve got to do what others want is suffocating us and we’re stagnating hoping something better comes along. Continue reading “Why You Are Never Selfish”