Yourself First

The Reasons People Struggle to Achieve Their Goals (interview)

Published on August 7, 2013 by Janet

Janet Poole was recently interviewed by Bill Leff from Radio 720 WGN – The Voice of Chicago.

Listen now to Janet Poole’s interview with Bill Leff

Here’s some of what we talked about:

♦ What was it that happened in childhood, which meant by the time you were 8 years old you were probably already doubting and limiting what you can achieve?

♦ Instead of living “outside the box”, has your box just got smaller – and are you still inside?

♦ Loving yourself FIRST and why it’s essential to a fulfilled and happy life – for you and everyone else!

♦ The reason so many people have FORGOTTEN what they TRULY WANT in their life

♦ What is it that we forget to do – or perhaps are unwilling to do – when we set a goal?

“When you find yourself on the side of the majority – it’s time to pause and reflect !” (Mark Twain)

♦ How to get great people and great relationships in your life

♦ How to reduce obligation in your life… gently

♦ Learn one of the core fundamentals to happiness

♦ Why so many people struggle to achieve their goals

Listen here

Janet Poole is the bestselling author of How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That! and a Facilitator of Bob Proctor’s Thinking into Results program…

Thinking into Results is a program that encourages outrageous fantasies and then shows you how to 100% live them! It’s great fun : ) Join me!

7 Things Happy People Do – They Put Themselves First (Part 3 of 7)

Published on March 3, 2012February 14, 2016 by Janet2 Comments

Put yourself first.

I know I know that’s supposed to be taboo.

And therefore a great reason to challenge it : -)

Putting yourself first is logical when you know why.

If you want scientific proof then I have that too.

If the idea sounds tempting then I say, good for you.

It’s 4 years since this blog post was written.
As of 2016, it’s my 4th most popular blog post.
It shows many of us are asking questions about what we’re “allowed” to have.
We have a yearning for truth.

Imagine if we ALL had permission to do what’s right for us, to follow our passions. Everyone would be happier, correct?

This is part 3 of a 7-part series: Things Happy People Do.

Key #1 is Happy People Have an Open Mind.
Key #2 is Happy People Love to Learn.

Let’s get started on #3.

Key #3:

Happy People Put Themselves First

Putting yourself first means you can follow your passion.

It’s the difference between waking up and savouring the idea of the day ahead and bouncing out of bed yelling, “Oh yea!” versus groaning, “Ugh, and now I have to get up…”!

“Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.”

Jon Bon Jovi

Would You Even Know You’re Putting Others First?

Putting others first is a program so drilled into us as children it becomes part of who we are.

Then someone (that would be me) shocks us with “put yourself first !” and we draw back in horror.

So how does putting others first play out in our life?

It means we rarely do what we want.

We spend our life trying to please our family and friends and be accepted by our peers. We do what is popular, we try to fit in, we never offend (a serious no-no), we try to impress others and appear successful and yes, we even try to appear happy.

Does feeling obligated to please others and having to constantly appear successful make you happy?
No.

Most people consider this selfish… it’s not.

Why?

That Scientific Proof You Wanted

1. Quantum physicists have proved that you can only create your own reality – by what you think and how you choose to live your life.

You don’t create someone else’s reality – you can only create yours.

2. Take that one step further and you’ll see you can’t make someone else happy; why some people are never satisfied no matter how hard you try.

3. And one more step – the flip side: You can’t expect others to make you happy.

It’s all about YOU. You make it happen for YOU.

You’ll Become More Generous and Loving

Just because you put yourself first doesn’t mean you skip your responsibilities and stop loving your children. Nor do you become selfish, nasty or greedy. You’re human: you’ll always care for others. You become even more generous, patient and loving. And you’re empowering yourself and others. Life is brilliant!

Tell me, would you rather be around someone who is vibrantly happy and inspirational or someone who is exhausted and disgruntled after years of self-sacrifice… and of course trying their best to mask it? You decide.

My Time as a Stay-at-Home Mother

Women with children surely face one of the toughest challenges to feel okay about putting themselves first.

When I was a SAHM, I was desperate for me time. So were my friends.

It didn’t help that I had no family in Australia, my daughter had started school and I had a very lively active (adorable!) 3yo son who had moved on from his afternoon naps.

Back then I didn’t know about putting myself first.

Achieving Me Time

So how did I handle the situation back then?

I must have had inkling of how important this was because I chose to put my son in childcare 5 hours on a Wednesday.

This meant I could get a cup of coffee by myself or even chop vegetables for dinner uninterrupted!

I didn’t even want to catch up with friends – I just wanted to be alone.

My son hated childcare.

The first few months were fine and he always had a lot of fun once there, but he started objecting every Wednesday morning. I persevered a little longer because I knew I was a better, more patient mother with me time.

I stopped the childcare because my son was becoming more distraught, however those 6 months gave me what I needed. He started kindergarten soon after and I got a few hours to myself.

How Can Your Attitude Help You?

You don’t have to logically work out how to put yourself first. Merely understand that you’re entitled to do so and Continue reading “7 Things Happy People Do – They Put Themselves First (Part 3 of 7)” →

Book Review of “Just Like That!” by AussieAuthors

Published on November 14, 2011November 16, 2011 by Janet

Just Like That! Front Cover — Scroll down the Sidebar at Left to Buy "Just Like That !" on Amazon or on this site

When I posted the news of the first review of “Just Like That!” (by ReaderViews) I wrote:

“Right now I’m fully immersed in the marketing of the book. Somehow the world has to learn “Just Like That!” is available right? And well worth reading! Marketing is new for me, I don’t have a publicist (yet?) and I don’t have a marketing team.”

That was a month ago and while marketing is still new for me, I’ve since acquired a publicist and a marketing team! We start working together next month; I’m thrilled and this adventure keeps getting better.

The review of “Just Like That!” from AussieAuthors.com is below. Cheryl Wright from Aussie Authors is another helpful, friendly person I’ve met on this journey. The review is by Warren Thurston.

Review of Just Like That! How to Get Anything You Want

Author: Janet Poole

Author’s Website: www.janetpoole.com

Published with assistance of Love of Books www.loveofbooks.com.au

ISBN Aus: 9780980877502 (pbk)

ISBN USA: 9781439280607 (pbk)

Janet Poole’s book took me on a journey I wasn’t expecting. It was a journey that enabled me to discover parts of myself I didn’t know existed. Her book gave me the courage to make a decision that has plagued me since 1985. And that is do I or don’t I take the plunge and publish my own children’s writing. Following her guidance in chapter five about challenges and the powerful opportunities they open up for you, I feel confident that I can achieve my goal of publishing my own work.

The most important point that the author makes is that loving yourself is essential, if you want to help yourself and others. Until you can love yourself for whom you are, then your mind and body are consumed by negative thoughts. By loving yourself you open your mind to new ways of looking at life in a positive light. This love of oneself in turn flows outwardly to embrace those around you with love and to help them in a positive way.

What Janet Poole has articulated in fine detail is that by not letting go of demons that tell us that self love is degrading and selfish, keeps the body in a sluggish state. One that gives our body a false sense of security, where it uses negative thoughts as a security blanket. It’s like telling oneself, “If I sit here and don’t move nothing can harm me.” But if a person allows themselves to stay in an immobile mental state, they will never expand their knowledge of life. To expand knowledge you first must expand knowledge of yourself.

The summaries and exercises that are included at the end of each chapter I found to be an excellent idea. They reinforced the sometimes difficult ideas that the author was attempting to get across. I found the book was set out quite well and it made it easier to progress down the self discovery path. Doing what you love is not selfish; it is the key to becoming all knowing in the quest for knowledge of oneself and all things in the universe.

Another point the author makes quite well is that you alone are responsible for your life, and you cannot blame someone else for your life. Self-pity feels good momentarily, but it means that we are avoiding responsibility, and it shuts down our power. In today’s world we should always avoid the herd mentality; you should always choose what is good for you.

Readers who approach this book with an open mind will discover a wealth of information that enables them to see themselves in a new light. They shall see that they themselves have control over how life treats them. The real person who resides inside all of us can pave the way to true enlightenment and self fulfillment, no matter what our goals may be. This, as the book so richly describes is not selfish, it leads the way to helping others.

Janet Poole’s book is not one that can be read once and put away. It is a reference for life that each additional reading will enhance the understanding of oneself and the world one exists in. Those readers willing to take on new ways of thinking will find this book, as I did a revelation as to what makes us human.

I found this book to be one of the best I have read on the topic of self discovery, and highly recommend it to those seeking out new knowledge.

Reviewed by Warren Thurston
– Children’s Author

Link to AussieAuthors for “Just Like That!” review :

Why it’s a Trap for You to Tow the Line

Published on August 25, 2011December 30, 2014 by Janet

If you want to live a happy life, stop towing the line.

This is part 2 of a 2-part series. Part 1 Do You Think for Yourself? introduced you to the unwritten rules of society and suggested that you probably follow them without realizing it. Towing the line gives you the illusion of a happy life but deep down you feel robbed.

“The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.”

~~ Rita Mae Brown (American Writer b. 1944)

This article is a little different to my others in that while it tells you how to become greater, it also delivers to you the stark reality of towing the line i.e. the downsides… and it is a downward spiral. By reading it I am hoping you will be motivated to take action, to step forward and courageously push aside those rules. To be free to live the happy life of your choosing.

The Hazards of Towing the Line …The 10 Steps to Hitting Rock Bottom in Your Life

Do you recognize this pattern, this downward spiral? (Some parts may seem tinged with sarcasm – that is not the intention. It is however the truth.)

At first, you’ll feel honorable. Initially, this is what you feel by conforming. It’s your (short-term) reward for doing so.
Then you’ll feel accepted as people appear to warm to you and praise you for being such a good person. Praise is a deep need for most people and it makes you believe you’re an essential part of the group, the tribe.
You’ll feel safe, loved and secure because you think the tribe will protect you. You consider yourself to be doing the ‘right thing’ since you’ve made a good impression. Note: Unbeknownst to you, this is the last time you will feel good. At this point you start on the never-ending downward cycle.
It starts to dawn on you that the love and protection you receive is conditional and to keep it you must keep following the rules – you must keep towing the line. Fact: the love and protection are conditional; you subconsciously know this and that there are consequences if you stray. This is where my book Just Like That! comes in. It explains that while there are certainly consequences if you stop towing the line, they pass quickly if Continue reading “Why it’s a Trap for You to Tow the Line” →