Why it’s a Trap for You to Tow the Line

Published on by Janet

If you want to live a happy life, stop towing the line.

This is part 2 of a 2-part series. Part 1 Do You Think for Yourself? introduced you to the unwritten rules of society and suggested that you probably follow them without realizing it. Towing the line gives you the illusion of a happy life but deep down you feel robbed.

“The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.”

~~ Rita Mae Brown (American Writer b. 1944)

This article is a little different to my others in that while it tells you how to become greater, it also delivers to  you the stark reality of towing the line i.e. the downsides… and it is a downward spiral. By reading it I am hoping you will be motivated to take action, to step forward and courageously push aside those rules. To be free to live the happy life of your choosing.

The Hazards of Towing the Line …The 10 Steps to Hitting Rock Bottom in Your Life

Do you recognize this pattern, this downward spiral? (Some parts may seem tinged with sarcasm – that is not the intention. It is however the truth.)

  1. At first, you’ll feel honorable. Initially, this is what you feel by conforming. It’s your (short-term) reward for doing so.
  2. Then you’ll feel accepted as people appear to warm to you and praise you for being such a good person. Praise is a deep need for most people and it makes you believe you’re an essential part of the group, the tribe.
  3. You’ll feel safe, loved and secure because you think the tribe will protect you. You consider yourself to be doing the ‘right thing’ since you’ve made a good impression. Note: Unbeknownst to you, this is the last time you will feel good. At this point you start on the never-ending downward cycle.
  4. It starts to dawn on you that the love and protection you receive is conditional and to keep it you must keep following the rules – you must keep towing the line. Fact: the love and protection are conditional; you subconsciously know this and that there are consequences if you stray. This is where my book Just Like That! comes in. It explains that while there are certainly consequences if you stop towing the line, they pass quickly if Continue reading “Why it’s a Trap for You to Tow the Line” →

Do You Think for Yourself? Here’s How to Start

Published on by Janet

Are you free to do what you want?

Or do you do what is expected of you?

You’ll probably find that without even knowing it, you follow ‘the rules’ and conform.

Obviously if you’re paid to do a job, do it.

For this purpose we’re talking about mindlessly following the unwritten rules of society; things you’ve never agreed to and you’re not paid to do.

If you have never contemplated this, then it’s likely you’ve fallen into line whether or not it’s for your benefit. Just by reading this paragraph however, you may have a lightning bolt moment; a sudden awareness about how you’re living your life.

To have confidence and a happy life, you ought to think for yourself.

“Gonna change my way of thinking, make my self a different set of rules.

Gonna put my good foot forward and stop being influenced by fools.”

Bob Dylan (American singer-songwriter and musician b. 1941)

If this Idea Pushes a Button Look Closer

This can be a touchy subject because we all like to think we’re independent thinkers, but we can’t escape the truth.

If you didn’t have a lightning bolt moment, ask yourself if this topic pushes a button for you. Does it make you uncomfortable, even a little?

If an idea pushes a button it means it applies to you in some way whether you hide from it or not.

Towing the line takes us away from what we want in life. But most people are doing it so let’s face it and acknowledge at least that you now know.

Now we can take action to liberate you and deliver to you that happy life instead.

Since I’ve had the luxury of learning I’m ‘free to be me’ and every day actively choose to be that, I’ve felt my heart soar, I’ve had a beautiful sense of liberation, confidence and I wake up even happier, with an even greater can-do attitude.

The Results Are In – You Are Free to Be You

Unfortunately, until we’re reminded that we’re free (to be whoever and whatever we want to be), we continue towing the line, doing what we think impresses others and keep trying to make ourselves more acceptable or more significant in the eyes of others.

We seldom do anything that contradicts what’s expected of us, for fear of losing the love and approval of others.

We robotically follow the rules of society – subconscious rules we’ve been indoctrinated to follow since childhood.

The rules determine what is deemed good behavior, and what isn’t.

We unconsciously know ‘good’ from ‘bad’ and we stick to being ‘good’.

Our daily life involves striving to be a glowing example of what is seen as living an ‘impressive life’.

The consequence? Continue reading “Do You Think for Yourself? Here’s How to Start” →

How to Be Happy and Love Your Life

Published on by Janet

The simple answer to being happy and loving your life?

Keep evolving.

The more expansive your mind, the happier you are.

The good news is that you can’t unlearn what you already know.

Once the light is turned on you can’t turn it off.

Once your mind has been opened to a new concept it is forever expanded; it can’t return to what it was.

And your mind keeps expanding.

You can’t feign ignorance and say, ‘oh, but I didn’t know’.

You do know.

Everything you learn you keep forever, even more so once you have applied it in your life and lived it. Nothing is ever wasted.

Understanding Life Makes You Feel Good

Once you’ve started to expand your understanding and awareness about life, you will forever be more open-minded. This is something to be treasured and is rare. An open mind is your key to confidence, a happy life, to becoming a greater person and to getting what you want.

Nature Keeps Evolving and So Should You

It’s the natural order of the universe to keep evolving. Nature does it and so should you. You can’t go backward, even though you may try – such as by living in regret or worrying about the past. Read: The 5 Hazards of Obsessing About the Past

What Happens if You Stop Evolving?

You may however, stagnate. You might ask why. If you rarely learn anything new, it becomes a habit to reject the new. Your mind closes. This leads to boredom, discouragement, frustration and hopelessness. If you are willing to open your mind, you’ll transport yourself into an exciting, interesting, fulfilling life. You’ll have fun.

Learning is Your First Step to a Happy Life, Second is to Apply It

  1. To keep going forward, it’s a must that you learn something new. The more you understand about life the more expansive your life. If you want a new idea, it must come from somewhere. Continue reading “How to Be Happy and Love Your Life” →

An Easy Way to Have a Healthy Relationship

Published on by Janet1 Comment

You’re entitled to love in your life, lots of it. Did you know that you control the amount of love that comes into your life?

It is you who decides to allow more love or to turn it away. All circumstances depend on you – in finding a new relationship as well as in how healthy it is. You are the key to everything in your life.

My book  How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That! teaches you how to get the relationships you want and how to keep them compatible.

The following extract highlights the vital part you play in having a healthy relationship.

Changing Others by Changing Yourself

“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at all times.”

Aeschylus (Greek playwright, 525–456 BC)

It sounds easier for someone else to make changes so that you can be happy. That’s less effort for you, right? You can see yourself sitting back with your feet up, watching the world dancing to your tune. Well, actually yes, but you need to decide the dance, and you need to decide the tune. If you want a new dance or tune, then again, you must change them.

Waiting for others to change means your power to create change in your life is held by other people, and they decide your life. No thanks. Fortunately, the only person you can change is yourself, because then you, and only you, hold the power to choose your life.

Most people wait or hope for others to change so they can get what they want, but this is a hopeless situation. Not only are they giving away their power, but what do they do while they are waiting? Stay miserable? I don’t think so. In any case, forcing others to change is rarely successful. The change, even if it eventually happens, will be short-term and may not be optimal for you.”

Relationships can seem like hard work, but they are our biggest teachers for self-improvement. Would you like to know how to handle relationships so that you gain confidence, have more fun and become even more compatible and closer? Here’s the secret to happy healthy relationships:  How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That!

Get Started Today:

Download the First 3 Chapters of my book FREE. They will help you understand why life works this way, with scientific proof. You get to find out:

  • Who are you really? Who others are
  • Why you are so extraordinarily powerful
  • The role of your Spirit and soul, past lives
  • The purpose of your body
  • Proof. Easy-to-understand elements of quantum physics, explaining why your life is this way.
  • Why you’re on earth
  • Why you ought to love yourself first and how to do that
  • Why you are free to do what you love, how to do what you love
  • How to discover your dreams and goals
  • How to develop greater wisdom, awareness, truth
  • Where your thoughts come from
  • Why your thoughts create your life
  • Proof that anything is possible with thought – using latest breakthroughs in neuroscience such as neuroplasticity as an example. All simply explained – you’ll say, “Wow!”
  • How to consciously choose your thoughts

All in the first three chapters.

The answers to life are here in the first 3 chapters of How to Get Anything You Want – Just Like That! Download now free.

So Remember…

Rather than wishing for a happy healthy relationship, take action to learn how to find one and keep it that way. The more you learn about relationships the more fun they’ll be.

Related Reading:

How to Stop Criticism… Going Out and Coming In
8 Ways You Will Change Your Life When You Ask for What You Want

Photo Source:

Now You Can Overcome Fear and Get What You Want

Published on by Janet

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

Marie Curie

Fear is something every human deals with. You are not alone. The blessing is that fear is about what could happen and not what is happening. When you start to understand how you create your life, fear drops away. When you learn how to deliberately create what you want in your life, fear drops away even further. The knowledge in my book gives you that understanding and the courage to take action; knowledge and action overcome fear and anxiety. The following extract from my book Just Like That! How to Get Anything You Want[i] is an example, it zeroes in on the fear of change as well as one of the main causes of fear. Other causes of fear and how to overcome them are dealt with elsewhere in the book, giving you skills to face life fearlessly, empower your life and increase your wisdom.

Knowledge tackles fear head-on; it eliminates fear and anxiety so you can step joyfully forward into a brighter, happier future where you get what you want.

   Moving On From the Status Quo

No matter how tantalizing the potential outcome, many people fear change in their lives because the body fears the unknown and it fears losing its identity. The wanted or unwanted aspects of our identity are familiar, like a comfortable pair of shoes. We find comfort in the boundaries of our old strengths and weaknesses.

The body may go on high alert for several reasons – when we attempt to think differently, when we have a decision to make or when contemplating an unresolved part of our life. The body cannot ascertain the full consequence of the change and how the change will affect its ability to survive, and it fears its inability to cope in a new situation. It would rather stay as it is, even if it is suffering or unhappy.

“Action conquers fear.”

Peter Nivio Zarlenga (Author, The Orator)

   Just Do It

The body can procrastinate by popping up endless questions to delay action so as to stay ‘safe’. People may feel confusion as to which path to take, so they procrastinate. Procrastination is borne out of the fear of change, yet any action, even some preliminary research, takes you closer to the real answer. Any action is progress, even if it isn’t in the best direction. There is no such thing as a ‘wrong’ action, Continue reading “Now You Can Overcome Fear and Get What You Want” →